SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to another episode of Pouring and Parenting. This is Sil. And I'm Anish. And we are so happy that you're here with us today. We are going to be diving into some really interesting topics today. So once again, we're so excited to have you with us. Einish, how are you doing today?

SPEAKER_01 0:14

I am doing great. I had a rough day yesterday, but today is a new day and I feel like I am thriving. How are you doing? I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

I'm really good. I we have like a little uh of an update in our household. I finally got rid of the baby's high chair and she has a booster. So today was her first day sitting with us at the dinner table, like at the actual table with us. And it was just like so cute. Like we were finally like kind of like all together. Like usually, and she still sits neck like next to the table, but I don't know. It's just different. Um, and she was like so cute about it. She sat next to her brother, and like we prayed, and she was able to like hold all of our hands, and it was just like super cute. So big news in our household, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Hey, I love that. Oh, right.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

I know such a big girl. Milestones that we're hitting. Thank goodness. And I'm so glad to get rid of that stupid high chair just an idol space. Takes up so much space. I think that was like the last thing, like a baby stuff that we have that takes up space in our living area. Like that's it. It's just like toys now. But I mean, that's gonna be years before those go away. So big girl moves, big girl moves. We love it. We love it. So, what'd you pour today? I poured a it's Tito's vodka with pomegranate juice and Sprite. So it brought me back to my clubbing days when I would typically get a pomegranate vodka and sprite. And I didn't have pomegranate vodka, but I had the juice from a previous drink I made. So that's what I got. What are you drinking today? What's your pour? Nice.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

I poured a uh whiskey mule, whiskey mule, which is something that we made for one of our midweek pours. So if you want to know how to make that, please check out our Instagram page and make sure you hit that follow button if you're not already following us.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Cheers! Today we're diving into parenting from different aspects. So, whether you're becoming a mother and planning for your baby's arrival to making sure they stay off the streets and even out of your hair. We have a little bit of something for everyone. So, starting with our hot topic, our first hot topic. Ainish, tell me what you think about this. More women are leaning towards home birth due to expensive medical medical costs, the push for C-sections in hospitals, and distrust, distrust in the medical field and in the professionals. What do you think? What's your take on that?

SPEAKER_01 2:48

I wanted to have a home birth and was not warranted that. I'm very pro-home births. I'm pro just being one and in your own space. And just taking that time to have that intimate moment with you, whoever you want to share that with, be it your partner, your family. I've seen many videos where the kids are involved, the mother, the in-laws, whatever the case is, they're just standing around and they're there immediately after the birth. There's a limit at the hospitals. And there's definitely, I've noticed a lot more women having C-sections, and that's major surgery. So I definitely can understand the fear that these women may have, especially in the minority aspect of it. There seems to be a higher rate of women of color that are not surviving in hospitals, giving birth. And it can, you know, it's happening after, perhaps. And so the the desire, the the uproar, and women deciding to have home births, I'm here for it. What about you?

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Okay, so I hear what you're saying, and I I have read and have heard about minority women, especially women of color, who are not getting the proper treatment at hospitals. And yes, they they don't make it or their babies don't make it or both. And that to me is awful. I think everyone should receive the same medical care throughout. Like that's that's a non-negotiable. I never wanted to have a home birth, wouldn't have been able to, anyways, just how things panned out with my pregnancies. But I do agree with the fact that yes, at home, it's definitely more calm. You can have whoever you want there. I would not want many people there because they could still see all your goods. And and I just like I I get it, but at the same time, it seems so gross to me. And maybe I might I could have like skewed perception of this, but the only births I've seen, kind of home births, have been like on movies or shows. And the one I can really think of is, and I know you've watched the show Jane the Virgin, where Jane's dad's baby's mama has the home birth, and like they all go in the tub.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

That's that is not the vision. If you if you Google or go on social media, there are plenty of women having natural births and water in the tub by themselves alone. So no one else gets in the water. No. They usually, I don't want to say usually, but there's a lot of women that are birthing their babies in a bathtub. And just for the comfort of it all, I imagine only one person will fit in that tub. The um midwife is standing alongside, I'm assuming, dependent on their discussion on how if the midwife will take the baby or if mom will deliver the baby. So I've noticed a lot of mothers deliver baby.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Interesting. Okay, so clearly, I mean, it's not something I ever wanted. So I didn't look into it, into those depths. But what I did find interesting was that there is a rise in home births due to once again the medical costs, the mistrust in the medical professionals, and then the belief that they want to keep pushing for C-sections. But what was scary to me when I looked into it, I did a little more research, NBC News, they did a segment on this, and the midwives, or there is a distrust between the midwives and the hospitals. So about 10 to 15 percent of home births have to be transferred to a hospital for a multitude of reasons. Whether the baby's breached, whether mom is hemorrhaging, you know, all sorts of things that can happen during uh a birth. So the midwife has to call the hospital and there's uh like they don't believe what's going on, or they're like, oh, what one hospital said like, well, we don't take walk-ins, which is crazy because they have to take in everyone. But just stuff like that that gets told to the midwife, like they give the midwife a hard time was like times of the essence. Like we we don't have time to argue or bicker about anything. Like someone's life is on the line, or you know, a baby's life is on the line. Um then that some midwives are not actually certified to do their job. So there is a big percentage of states who have banned midwives, and yet there's still many midwives out there um putting women through labor and not giving them all the information they need. I spoke to my sister-in-law who works in the labor and delivery um department at a hospital nearby, and so I asked her about some of this, and she did say they have noticed in the hospital that there's a lot more women leaning towards the home births. And you just usually things are fine, but there's so many things that can happen during labor. And if it's not taken care of immediately, things can go wrong really quickly, and they're noticing that the midwives are not giving mothers the information they need to make a wise decision of whether they should actually stick with their plan of home birth or going to the hospital, where there a lot of the times it seems like it could have been pre things could be prevented if the midwife was a little more truthful in providing that information rather than just letting the mom, who probably thinks everything is fine, to have that home birth. And then things go wrong, and then now everyone's in a panic. And I would rather take the peace of mind knowing that everything's gonna be okay, hopefully, right, in a hospital setting, rather than thinking everything's gonna go well at home. But God forbid something goes left, we don't have the medical tools or the professionals necessary to help whatever situation, help keep us alive, keep the baby alive, whatever it is. Um, unless you know you're healthy, you don't have any maybe family history of complicated pregnancies, then yes, have it at home. But if there is any slight chance that things can go wrong, feel like something can go wrong, like just go to the hospital. Do not risk your life, do not risk your baby's life.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Yeah, I think a lot of that has to fall into the hands of making sure that mom obviously does the research and make sure that they're researching their doula or their midwife and making sure that they're well educated and having communications with the hospital and making sure that the facility that you're going through has all of that taken care of. And so if something does, if an emergency does come up, then the hospital or whatever they know that, hey, so-and-so is expecting a baby around this time. So yeah, we're ready for you. We have the place for you. We know that you're dealing with a doula or a midwife, and so come on in, we got you covered. Random fact, I don't know if you know this, Erica Badu is a doula. And so she is, I think she worked with Summer Walker. Summer Walker is a woman of three. She has twins and one child, and she was a doula for her. So just having that trust, obviously, in who you are going to, you know, just entrust to deliver your baby and be there for you during those precious moments is a major. Again, if I could have, 110% would have. That wasn't in the cards for me, medical reasons, but I'm here for it, honestly. Even with everything you said, I would, I would still 100% do it. If I could have done it, I would have 110%, I would have done it even with the stats that you said. Because again, about I mean, I lived and survived. I had a great experience with the medical professionals and the hospital that I went with. They were very present and very aware color didn't matter. And I know there are so many stories out there. Like I said, with women of color being treated differently, passing away shortly after birthing their baby. And I can see why women of color, because I'm pretty sure looking in the stats, in my opinion, I'm I'm imagining that it's probably women of color that are mainly delivering at home, because the stats are women of color are, you know, not making it past delivery in a hospital setting. So I hear your stats, but I would still, I still would have done it at home, in my mama's house, in the living room, in the tub. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

I mean, ooh, just you know, good luck to everyone out there, to all you ladies um who want to have a home birth or even um one deliver in a hospital. Like just do your research. No matter what, do your research. Don't rely on one person to give you information. Do your research, please, because at the end of the day, we just want to hear happy stories, successful stories when it comes to either your home births or hospital births. So please, please, please do your research.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

So our next trend is um a little bit different. So this is for now people like or women like us, parents like us who are children are here. They've been birtheds for quite a while at this point. This has to do with their schedule. So the trend is slow parenting, lower scheduling, meaning moving away from hyper-scheduled or hustle culture childhoods towards more downtime, boredom, and unstructured play. So, what if I told you that your child being bored is like the best thing for them or could be one of the best things for them? What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 12:50

I feel that being that I'm an over planner and I definitely there's organization in the house, but I don't organize everything in a household. And I feel that that allows my kids to kind of be creative. I'll suggest a couple things for my son to do, and he has a choice whether he wants to do that or not. And so he has the freedom to be creative as opposed to me literally dictating everything that he's doing with every hour of the day. Was that the right answer? Did I win a prize?

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Yes. No, you did for sure. Because yay, yay, me. Because so many parents in the last couple decades have really filled their kids' schedule up. So there was a study that showed that children in the last two decades in the middle class have three hours or less a week of unstructured, unstructured time. Three hours or less. There are professionals, there are doctors who have more free time than some of these children. So I mean, like they're at school, they come home, practice whatever they're practicing. You know, they go to like violin or music and they do this. And like it's just one thing after another, and they come home, go to sleep next day. Now you do it all over again. Maybe you have a different sport, maybe you have a different music lesson, maybe you have extra classes that you're taking. So they just have very little downtime. The thought is that, well, if I keep my kid busy, you know, they're not gonna be getting themselves into trouble. You know, we're gonna keep my kid off the streets, they're gonna be busy, busy, but you know, they're gonna be around like-minded people, they're gonna be happier, they're gonna be successful, they might make it to the NBA or the NFL or the MLB, whatever the case might be. Or we they put so much pressure on their children by putting them in all these things because something's gonna stick, right? You're gonna be great at something, you know, you're gonna get a full right scholarship, you know, are the hopes, you're gonna become professional one day in whatever it is that you're doing. Um, but much of the time it is not the case. What ends up happening is that these children or young adults that they grow up to be, they they come to a point in their life where that ends, typically after high school or maybe even after college for some. But it ends. And now they have lost their childhood because it was so involved in everything. They don't know what it's like to have an imagination, they don't know what it's like to not do anything, to be bored, to have their own thoughts, to sit there and be like, What what do I do? Like now you don't have mom and dad telling you what to do. They you know, in a way they can't, but like you're on your own, but you've your whole life you've been just on the go, go, go, go, go. And studies are showing that that's not the best way to handle children's childhoods because they're not meeting a lot of the children that grow up and they don't meet those expectations. And it takes a toll on their men on their mental health as young adults because it's like now what? Okay, I didn't make it into the NBA, now what? I didn't get that scholarship I needed, now what? So the trend now is to move away from having so much structure and it's like, okay, just go play. You want to be bored? Fine, be bored. You know why? Because when kids are bored, what do they do? They start using their imagination, they start interacting with their siblings, they start problem solving, they develop critical thinking skills, all that stuff that they do, or then they j they learn just to be bored, to be okay with just themselves. I I like this because I I've seen a lot of this with people that I know where it's you know it's a lot of you know hustle all the time. And I mean, if if the child is happy, great. But at the same time, I I want my kids to experience a childhood. So my son right now, he is in sports. Um, we did for a very small time consider club soccer for him. He tried out, he didn't make it, and honestly, to me it was a blessing. Um, I know he was sad, but I just I was scared that it was gonna take up so much of our time because it is a commitment. And now he's playing baseball for the spring season, and it's you know, he just has to practice a couple times a week, he has games a couple times a week, but when he's not doing that, he's at home either playing with his sister, playing with the neighborhood kids, which I love because I know that there's so many children out there who don't even know how to ride a bike, they don't know how to um even walk across the street to a neighbor's house or anything. They they they just wouldn't. They would rather be inside playing video games. Right. So the fact that my son is lucky enough to have kids in our neighborhood that that are his age and they could just go outside and play. I think I'm so grateful for that because he doesn't have that childhood he remembers, you know, being able to ride his bike down the hill all fast and you know, you know, all the things that they do, you know, they go nuts out there. But I love it. I absolutely love it. And I would take that over having him, you know, bussing him back and forth to whatever it is that he out he he wants to do. But I don't know, what what do you think? Am I am I being too dramatic, or do you think this is like a good like middle ground for parents? What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Honestly, everything that you said, I agree with you. I feel that we grew up without a lot of the electronics that kids are allowed today, or that are you know, develop today and whatever, you know, times have evolved. And we had to figure it out. We were outside riding bikes, like you said, playing hide and seek, ding dong ditch, all the games we were playing and doing and being created as eight, nine, ten-year-olds. And so now there are so many different outlets as parents that we can give to our child so we don't have to be involved. And it's yeah, it's a scare, it's scarier out there. We don't, you know, I you don't want to send your kid outside because you don't know who's lurking. And I do get that aspect of it, and so it's easier to give your kid a tablet. It's easier to hand your kid whatever electronic device, but also you have to take the reins as a parent and be more responsible and just own the fact that you're a parent and you need to be more involved with your kids and make sure that you are raising someone to be ready for society, right? And not a burden to society. And so with our oldest, he wakes up, he's the first person up in the morning, and he's not allowed to touch anything but his TV. Because one thing I will say is that I remember waking up and watching Saturday morning cartoons. Cartoons. I don't know if that's a thing anymore, but that was that was something that we did on the weekends. Me and my brothers, we'd wake up and we're watching all the cartoons first thing in the morning, eight o'clock in the morning. And so that's what my son does. He can't touch his Switch, there's no nothing. Don't watch YouTube. You can watch cartoons in the morning. And I have his cereal ready. Don't bother me. Everything's laid out for him. And he knows exactly he doesn't bother anyone. He gets up, he gets a cereal, and then he'll watch his Saturday morning cartoons. And that's what we do on the weekends. And everything's timed over here. He goes outside, but also he also has that option to not watch cartoons. There are other things that he can play with. He can color, he can, there's so many, he can play with his Hot Wheels. And I've heard him playing with this marble situation, marble race, marble maze thing. Marble run. Yes, that he received as a Christmas gift this past year. So he's learned how to entertain himself outside of being electronic, you know, forced, if you will. Yeah, I agree with that. I 100% agree with making sure that your kids can use their brain and not need something to entertain them. They can learn how to use their their brain and and figure out something to do, play a game. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Yeah, so extracurricular, you know, it could be so many different things that we feel our kids comes with, whether it's, you know, with the sports, with music, with um extra classes, uh, gaming, whatever it is, right? But sometimes they really just need that time of unstructured time where they they gotta just figure it out on their own. You wanna be entertained, you entertain yourself. And I've told my son a few times, because he'll be like, I'm bored, I'm bored. Like, I'm not your entertainment. I am not your personal clown. You gotta figure it out, right? You need to figure it out. And before I know it, you know, he's doing something that he normally wouldn't do. Yeah, he figures it out. I'm like, cool. See, you'd have to tell me you're a board a hundred times. Like, just figure it out, man. All right. So that leads me into our next topic. We we talked about parents putting so much on their kids' schedule. But when their kids are actually in some type of sport or in some type of extracurricular activity, do parents take these activities too far? So we all know probably more than two or three parents who can get a little crazy at the field or in the gym or, you know, wherever it is that their kid does their extracurricular activities. And I don't think it's always in the best interest of the kid. Sometimes I really think these parents are trying to live out these moments for themselves.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

What do you think? I definitely feel that parents can get really rowdy during these Pop Warner or the YMCA facility environments. My son has been playing sports since he was about two and a half, and soccer was his first sport. And we were blessed to find a facility that introduced soccer at such a young age. Now, granted, it was parent involved up until about the age four, I believe. And then the parents slowly like drifted off the field. And but the but that whole program was fundamental based. So they they did offer teams, but we never placed them in teams. It was all fundamental-based. And so he was able to learn a lot. Once we finally got into the verses and teams, I coached a lot. And luckily for me, the coaching that I've done, if people were yelling and saying crazy things, I didn't hear anything. So now that I'm really thinking about it, this is the first time I'm actually thinking about it, but no one's ever like yelled any obscenities to me as the coach or whatever the case is. But again, he was still very young and playing in the sports today. And I hyphenate today. Now that he's older, it's getting more dramatic. And I've I had an incident where and he's playing, he was playing basketball, basketball season's over now, but playing basketball, and they're more I want to say aggressive, but they they call fouls, they'll call double dribbling. Not all the time, but more times than none. If it's blatant and it's you're aggressively holding the ball and running with it, then the referee will call whatever they need to call. But there was a mom or two behind me yelling about the ref not being fair. And mind you, their team was winning. And I shouted out back to her that everyone was double dribbling. She was saying, Oh, you're gonna let him double dribble. And I finally was like, Well, girl, everybody's double dribbling. And she didn't say anything after that. But I'm like, like, girl, like, ma'am, like they're six and seven. Calm down at this point. So I do feel like parents take they can, I don't want to say they take it too seriously. No, yes, I feel like parents can take it too seriously. Like the kids are out there to have fun and they're not thinking about, I mean, some kids are maybe a lot more serious, but it could be the pressure that their parents applied on them. Some kids are natural athletes, and maybe with that natural athleticism that they're even noticing themselves, I can see that child taking it more seriously without the pressure from their parent. But nine times out of 10, I feel like the pressure is definitely coming from the parent. I don't yell at my child when he's out there. I'm gonna take that back. Let me retract my words. I have yelled a couple times, but get the ball, shoot it. You know, I'm gonna do, I'm I have yelled, just shoot the ball instead that. But I'm not yelling at the ref or anything like that. But I, you know, is to answer your question finally, uh, do I feel like some parents are potentially living vicariously through their kids and maybe wanting their child to make it to the NBA, NFL, NHL, and whatever it is? S, I do. And I don't think it's right. I don't think it's fair for the child. They want to go out there and have fun. Half the time, I don't even think the kids can hear you. One of the things that my husband and I had a quick discussion, this will be the last thing I say. My husband and I had a discussion about yelling and parents, and he was like, oh, that's just normal. And I told him that in the like the clause that a lot of these leaks have, they don't demand that you don't because you obviously can't control the parent, but they recommend that you don't yell to your child because it's distracting. They're they have a coach for a reason. They're so there's so much going on, they probably can't even hear you. And the biggest thing that I brought up to my husband was that you have these LeBron James, these elite athletes, especially in an NBA setting, it's really not a big space, it's not a large space. And the seating arrangements in the NBA is very intimate, I feel. And you can just imagine what they hear. But the fact that they can still play through that is to me that these children are learning to just tune everybody out. So, what's the point of yelling out there when they're already they're zoning you out because they have to hear all this crazy stuff, negative stuff, but still play their game. So I think it's a waste of your breath. Just sit there and be quiet. Easier said than done.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

So I am that parent who yells. And it's probably more so like with baseball. Benny is just really high energy. So sometimes he gets bored out there when he's in the outfield. When he's pitching, he's fine. But when he's in the outfield, you know, like luckily we're past the point of him picking flowers, but he'll just like throw his glove in the air, he'll just like do random stuff, spin around, do a dance. Like he's definitely I've caught him dancing so many times out there. My goodness. And so I'm gonna I yell at him like, pay attention, like pay attention. And and you know, now he's getting older to where, yeah, the kids are hitting out to the outfield. So you need to be on your game. And yeah, I'm yelling. But then there's also times where I'm yelling in a positive way. So, for example, when he's pitching, and there has been times where he's hit a kid or two, and then I'm just like, crap, that could be bad for many reasons. But it also messes with his confidence. So I'll yell at it, like, oh, shake it off, Benny, like it's okay, just take a breath or whatever. So I'm yelling because I have to yell so he can hear me. Um, and sometimes he hears me, sometimes he doesn't. But there's also those parents who they're freaking awful. Like, I have heard parents yell at their kids and bring their kids down, and they're the coach. Like, it's so awful how how parents can get to their kids. It's like, do you really think think that you're bringing your kid up right now? Because that's not what's happening. Your kid is not gonna do better if you're right there and they not only are you their parent, but you're the coach and you're yelling at them, like in front of everybody. Why are you expecting your kid to go out there and do so much better when you just brought their whole confidence down? Probably broke their heart. I had my son on one team where the coach yelled, or the assistant coach yelled at him and his son because they were playing in the dugout, and they weren't doing anything crazy, like they were sitting actually, but they were like giggling or whatever, and he made his son move away from my son. Benny was so sad after the game. I asked him how he was, and he was like, I can't be his friend anymore because oh, his dad said I can't be his friend anymore, or something like that. I was like, What the fuck? Like, really? They're supposed to be having fun, but making friends along the way is part of the process. Being able to have fun with your team is what it's about. And you're gonna tell them that they can't even be friends, and that kid literally took it seriously. He barely talks to my son anymore, and we see him at soccer, we see him at baseball, but the dad is such a prick that he just like he got into his son's head and his son was really sweet, and you can see the mean set coming at him too. Yes, and with that, we are at our segment break. So we are going to do our uh game, which is called Sing to Me. So, for those poor who have been listening to us, you know how this game goes. I'm going to ask I question regarding a song. She has to sing the answer back to me correctly, and then she'll ask me a question. Yes, vice versa. So, as you know, I have been doing pretty well. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Oh, trick is cheating. You're cheating somehow. There's a no, absolutely no way. Okay. So, Anish, what does Jagged Edge have at the rear of the club? Bottle. Bottle Picardy at the club. Back of the club. What does Jagged Edge have at the rear of the club? Is it the party song?

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Am I in the right song with Nellie? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Hey, with a Picardia. Girls is on the way with that Picardia. No. Yeah, that's it, right? Is it a bottle? Am I right? Am I right? You just want me to sing it to you? But you're not right. Dang it. I felt so confident. I knew they were talking about drinking in that song. And so it felt right to say that. Alright. Well. Yeah, that's it. I know. Every time you say it, I know. Alright, whatever. Alright. How does tweet describe his body in her hit single Oops? Oh my. Oh, shoot.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

I don't know what those parts are. I feel like I'm I'm at the part, but I don't know. I don't think I ever knew those words. Something in brown, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Did I stump? All oiled and brown. That's what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

Oiled and brown. No, I don't even sound right. Shoot. It's brown and we won all the time. Okay, so stop. We're done. You already won. You lost the time. Thank you. Oh, you knew I was getting close. Wait, what is it?

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Well, just gonna confirm that you did not win this particular moment. What are the words? From his body. So buttery brown.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Buttery brown.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

And to the like fried chicken grease oil? Like what kind of oil are we talking about, girl? And that diddy oil.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Not the ditty oil. Okay. What did Outcast not mean to do to Miss Jackson?

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Make her cry. Sorry, Miss Jackson. Never meant to make your daughter cry. I apologize a trillion times.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

I redeemed myself. Thank God. I knew that one was gonna be easy. She doesn't get this one. We gotta figure out a new game.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Jesus. I love Outcast. I love that album too. First of all, I am a big Andre 3000. Okay. Where did Destiny's Child leave from in the song?

SPEAKER_02 33:24

So I keep mixing songs up.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

Like the little the verses. Mixing it up with a difference. Are you ready? Wasn't it you that said that I wouldn't do too good?

SPEAKER_01 33:39

Look at me now ain't got good. Now I made it out the hood.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

That's funny because I was I was coming to like that. I was trying to hear that part in my head, but I was hearing a different song of theirs in my head. And I'm like, okay, I know that's not the right song. Yeah, turning the song. Right. Oh yeah, you sure did.

unknown 34:00

Yay.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Alright, on the wall, though.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

That's a good album too. Sweet Jesus. Take us back to those days.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Alright. So there you have it. Ineesh has finally won half a round of Sting to Me. And this is the first time that I lose both rounds. Yes. I will do better next time. Yes, ma'am. Glad you recognized.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

Okay, don't I don't need you to co-sign. Just accept it and move on. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

It's like I number seven. But you did. We all know who the queen is here. Wow. Each said it with her own words. Luckily, I know that we are both queens. Well played. Well played. Okay. So, pores, we are coming to that time of year. Spring break is on the horizon. And no, this is not the spring break from 10, 15 years ago where we went out and partied. This is spring break when we have children. And we are gonna be needing probably more drinks than we drank before to survive our children during the spring break, which some children are on spring break. Some children will be on spring break very soon. And it's really crazy how the districts have the um the schedule all spread out all over the place. Some kids get one week, some week kids get two, but the bigger thing is what are we gonna do with these kiddos? What the heck? Ineesh, any plans for spring break?

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Yes. Yes. We have plans for spring break. Our son only receives one week of spring of spring break, which is a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your lifestyle, I guess. We like to travel, so for us it's 50-50 is entertainment-wise, right? What do we do with this kid for a week or two? But with it being a week, we can't travel like we would normally normally like to do. And so since we live a little further out, it was easier before to drive to and from back to Cali and come back, but we can't do that now. So this year we plan on doing a staycation in Texas and we'll drive about four or five hours to Houston and just explore Houston and see what they have out there. There's a lot more to do out there than what is offered in the current city that we're living in. So we are excited about that. Our son doesn't know that we're doing that, but that is currently the plan. And my hubby and I already booked the rooms for the time being. And yeah, so that's pretty much it. We're just gonna, you know, go out and explore a little more Texas. What about you?

SPEAKER_02 36:50

So we were originally gonna go to Mexico uh for spring break, but things didn't work out, which is fine because of the political climate that's going on over there. But my husband and I decided that we are going to take the kids on a like SoCal trip. So we're gonna go from like the from LA to the desert to the mountains in about like five days or so. Well, not in about like for about a total of like five days, I believe. So we're gonna be touring um different parts of LA. We're gonna go to the what is it? The Hollywood stars walk of fame. The walk of fame. It's always called the walk of fame. Yeah, we're gonna go there. Um, I don't know how interested the kids will be in, but we're in it whatever. Yeah, okay. They're gonna see what's there. Uh hoping there's gonna be some snow in the mountains. I think there still is. You know, okay, can we just have like make a snowman, a little one? And then we're gonna go to the desert. My son really is obsessed with going to the desert and cabazon outlets does not check that box. So we actually have to go into a more rural area, apparently. But I mean, other than that, that's it, he does get two weeks off. So what we're gonna do the rest of the time, like just chill, really. Like, um, I have to work for some of that time. So he'll be hanging out with his dad and his sister and having unstructured time for a lot of that. So he'll hopefully be using his creativity or playing with the neighbors or his sister, or you know, finding something new to do.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

What I do want to point out for spring break is a couple things that you can do for those of you who maybe um don't know what to do with your kids. Some options that we discussed are maybe taking them to the local library. The libraries do have a lot of activities scheduled, especially around the spring break time. I know they have like a reading competition, um, they have like story time. I know our local library has like a magic show that they do. Yeah, no, they they have events, like at least something like three times out the week they have going on over there. Um, but even like arranging a play date with their friends, whether or family cousins. I know uh my son really wants to see some of his cousins he haven't seen in a while. So hopefully we can do that. But I mean, it could just be like really like low budget things. Go on a picnic, take them to the park, you know, just things that you don't normally do. You know, just you know, take up time, but also look them be bored.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

That's okay too. Right. Yeah, I don't think that they parents, I don't think you parents need to have something scheduled for each and every single day. Like Sil said, library, picnics, work, museums. There's local museums that you can, you know, a local museum that you can visit, go on for a walk, a nature walk, get some fresh air, and hone into that. There are a lot of activities at the Dollar Tree. They could paint some stuff. There are holidays that are coming up, paint some Easter eggs, get a head start in that for Easter. Yes, don't forget about Easter. Yes. And so, you know, take a trip to the Dollar Tree and buy all the stuff that they have out on display and take a day and start decorating and decorate your house. So there's a lot of options out there.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Yeah, I like it. It doesn't have to be anything that's a break in the bank. You know, just some friends, some just I don't know, a new game. Keep them occupied and out of your hair and make sure you have lots of food on deck. Okay, snacks, all that stuff. You know, take them with you to the grocery store. That way that's one less headache that you have to deal with while they're there. Like, I'm hungry, you know, I want to eat.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

Go get a snack. And I will say, since you mentioned snacks and stuff, I don't know why this this triggered my thinking, but if you have a schedule, don't stray too far away from their bedtime schedule or their naptime schedule. Well, I guess if your kids end grade school, but staying close to their bedtime so it doesn't necessarily interfere with their life when they do have to go back to school. They're not all like, ah, I'm used to staying up till midnight. Not you putting me to sleep at eight. So I would that's what I'm gonna do. I even though he's on break, we still, at the most, he'll stay up about an hour past bedtime. And if you do allow your child to stay up past their average time, I would start reeling that in about three days prior till until their first day of school.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

Nothing's worse than that, like that first Monday back. Oh my gosh. For that Sunday night. Right. Yeah, go to sleep. Go to sleep. Oh, I can't sleep, huh? And you gotta start threatening them. I'm gonna take your tea, I'm gonna take your bike, I'm gonna, you know, you end up taking all their stuff.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

All these empty threats. So start that Friday night and so they can get back into their regular scheduled program that they're typically used to when it comes to bedtime and stuff. But still have a good time and try to implement as many homebody things if you can't get out, if you can't have a staycation or travel your local area. There are still a lot of things that you can do within your community and implement that into your spring break.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

All right, and with that being said, we are moving into our Bridgerton segment. So if you have been tuning in, we have been talking about Bridgerton. Spoiler alert, we will be talking about Bridgerton episode two. I'm transfixed, is what the episode was called. So if you have not watched it already, at this time I would politely ask you to not listen. Make sure you follow us on all streaming platforms, press the follow button. If you are staying with us because you already watched episode two and you want to hear our point of view, here it goes. Okay. We continued with episode two, where Benedict Bridgerton is looking for his Cinderella, girl with the glove. She left her glove, she ran out in a haste at 12 o'clock, and he can't find her. He's looking for her everywhere. But what I really liked about this episode is that we are now starting to get those flashbacks into Sophie's early life as well as what led up to the ball when she met Benedict Bridgerton. So, what did you think about when they went back to her early life when she met her stepmother?

SPEAKER_01 43:41

That I was right in my prediction. I felt that she was a stepchild. I wasn't I guess I the only thing that surprised me, if that's even the right adjective, I guess, is that I thought that the two of them had her. Like they were married already and he stepped out, but the fact That she came in and he already had her because he stepped out of his first marriage. Because they kept calling her, I don't know if you caught that. They referred to her as a ward, which means that he stepped out of his first marriage. And instead of saying ill illegitimate child, then they call her a ward. And I actually had to pause and Google the word because her face changed immediately when he said that. And so that was the only thing that I would say that took me aback was I just thought that it was her that he stepped out on.

SPEAKER_02 44:39

So to me, going back to that scene, what took me back, well, one, that she was a ward. And I didn't really know what that meant um until you just told me. But I knew it wasn't based on the other stuff they talked about. I kind of like got the feel for it. But the fact that the stepmother or his new wife didn't know who she was. Because here she comes with her two kids, right? They were not his. Am I correct? Because it's the new wife. Her kids, right? So why? So I was surprised to see that she didn't know about the ward, about Sophie, because she was taken back. I would that have been different.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

I think I I think the shock factor was saying ward and not my daughter, because that let her know that you'd be stepping out. You you cheat. So I think her reaction was like, oh, you're a cheater. And so with my Googling that I did to figure out what Ward means, so with them calling Sophia Ward, that allowed the father to care for her, but it left her with no status of being lady of the house. And so pretty much she was born to a servant. Or he she was born of a servant, right? Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

Yeah, that makes sense. But so we see the flashback into her early life. That's when we see the new wife. She brings her two kids. Um, but then they also show us the parts that led to the ball. Um, because they didn't show us that in the first episode. I think it just showed her that she went, if I remember correctly. And she was making a mask for one of the daughters because allegedly they lost the mask. And as she made the mask, they found the mask, and so therefore, there was this mask that was available. And she ended up getting kind of influenced to go to the ball. And sh once again, she wasn't going there to meet Prince Charming. She wanted to just go and experience all the beautiful things that were there because she says that they're not gonna appreciate what's there, they're not gonna appreciate everything like I would, because clearly, you know, she's not of society and she's not used to going to events such as those. Um, then it goes back to, I guess, like the real time, where Benedict is on the hunt for Sophie. He is still looking for her, and he even goes to Penelope, who is Lady Whistledown, to put information about himself in her column, making it seem like he is looking for um a bride. So, of course, that gets his mom excited. No, no, let me take that back. That gets a lot of the moms excited about their daughters hopefully having a chance with Benedict. But we see a lot of uh Lady Penwood and her daughters because she wants one of her daughters to essentially marry Benedict. What did you think about Benedict putting the column or asking Penelope to put the column out?

SPEAKER_01 47:48

I think he's doing exactly what I thought he was gonna do. I told you last week that he did a fallback and he's gonna hunt this girl down. Maybe not verbatim, but I feel like he was enamored by her and he was going to hunt her down and look for her Cinderella. So I was not surprised by his actions.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Yeah, so I did think about that. As I was watching it, I was like, oh my gosh, Iniche was right. Like he even, so his search kind of goes stale and he goes back into well, he almost goes back into his bad habit of going to those very inappropriate places, but also drinking a lot, and he kind of gets stuck there for a little bit, but he does not go through with his normal endeavors. Also, what's happening is that Eloise is also being pushed by her mother to find a suitor and to kind of get her off her back. Benedict is like, okay, like you talk to these guys, try to get information about this mystery lady. You know, you're gonna look like you're talking to suitors, mom's gonna leave you alone, and hopefully I'll get the information I need. But that didn't work out. And Louise is still just really not trying to put herself out there. She's just I I think she just doesn't want that traditional suitor thing. I think she wants it to be more organic. Um but she's like the female version of her brother. Yes, yes, she is, except for she doesn't do all the other crazy stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 49:26

Not fluid. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:29

She's not as fluid as her brother. She's not a rake. She's not a rake. She's not a rake. Um so then the twist comes around. So Lady Violet Bridgerton is on to her son. She knows something's going on. She bullies Penelope, aka Lady Whistledown, to give her the information she needs, finds out it is Benedict who's putting himself out there and that he's the one looking for this mystery woman, and then goes to him and makes him confess, basically. And he gives her the glove. And within seconds, she looks the glove, finds the little tag on there. She's like, You should have told me.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

Because I just want to interrupt you right now. Yes. I wrote down mom knows best. That's it. Yeah. That was my because I I'm taking notes that we, you know, when we watch the show. But yeah, the biggest note that I wrote down is that mama knows best. So listen to that, mama, for all the moms listening.

unknown 50:33

Right?

SPEAKER_02 50:33

That's why you say that. Because in my notes, I wrote, Doesn't mother know all? Right. Because don't they? Right? She knew exactly where to look and was like, look, you need to look into Lady Uh Penwood's home. So then now he pretends to court uh Miss Posey, who is the other daughter, not the intended daughter that Miss Uh Lady Penwood was trying to have Benedict court. Uh Miss Posey, who is kind of friends with Sophie, and he's asking her a bunch of questions. And as he's asking her questions, there's Lady Penwood checking everything he's asking. And some things like chaperoning. Yes, she was chaperoning, but she's being very um she's a mama too. Yeah, no, but she's just like really listening to all the questions that he's asking, but for her own personal reasons. I feel like because she she does not want posing for this man, and the crazy things that she was saying, she was talking about like her dreams in the theater and something about like walking feet. But he was just like, Oh, okay. And they're just my gosh, like what are you saying right now? So, like this is not the right daughter. Like the daughter that I want for you is right here, and she's a stuck up little snooty one.

SPEAKER_01 51:58

But I mean, mama knows best though, too. Even though she's a different type of energy, mama knows best. True.

SPEAKER_02 52:04

Okay, I'll give that.

SPEAKER_01 52:05

She she knew she knew what was up to.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

Yeah, she knew. No, she oh, she did. She found out right away. So while this situation's going on, Sophie sees that Benedict's there. And for a second, did you think that she was gonna go out there? Well, she's hiding behind the um the door, and her friend, the servant friend, he's right there saying, like, he's looking for you.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

Like, go, go. Did you think that's a good one? I didn't think she was gonna go. I did not think that Sophie was gonna bust through the door. I think that her friend is he a horseman? I don't know what his title is, but he is about that life. And I love his energy. I love that he wanted her to do it. I see why she didn't do it, but her friend needs to be my friend because he is about that life. He's like, girl, if you don't get up there and and get your man, because what are we doing? Push her in. Because why are we still standing on this side of the door?

SPEAKER_02 53:07

So after the visit, um, Benedict Bridgetin to the Penwood home. Once again, Lady Penwood is, or Penwood, yeah. She is looking out her window after he leaves, and she sees the glove in his hand, and it all comes right back. Mama knows best. So she goes to Sophie, and I mean, uh I just was annoyed that she had her put on the shoes. Like, just tell her you know it's her, but whatever, has her put on the shoes. Oh, perfect fit, and blah, blah, blah. And I found your dress and you know, dismisses her. You know, she had the nerve to be like, I have taken care of you all these years. Like, you made her a maid. Come on, lady. But isn't that how Cinderella goes? The only thing is that Cinderella didn't get fired. Sophie is now out in the streets looking for a new job. She has to get out of Mayfair. She leaves London and goes to this new estate where, you know, time passes. Benedict still is on his binger of drinking, wakes up someplace, doesn't know where he's at, and then becomes a hero at the end of the night. Sophie, who is actually saving another of the servants um from being harassed by these men. And he, like, uh Benedict um gets in a fight with the guys, you know, that's not how you treat a lady. Like it doesn't matter if they're a servant or not. Hopefully, he keeps this mindset about it doesn't matter that they're a servant. Once he finds out who she is, oh yeah, we'll see how that Cinderella story unfolds. Now to the queen, Queen Charlotte is having herself a moment. What did you think about her aunt? I'm sad for her.

SPEAKER_01 54:56

I'm sad for both of them. I feel I get Queen Charlotte's vibe, and I feel that she is she's lonely. Her husband is ill, and they're putting on that he's still alive because they mention, you know, when he passes and all these things as far as future temps go. So he's in he's hiding somewhere, which is why she's at the throne and she's in charge. But I feel sad for Queen Charlotte. I feel bad for her best friend. It's a tough place to be in. That's a tough position that she's holding. I don't think that she felt in her mind that she signed up for all of this energy when she married the king. And here she is with all of this energy, and her one and only singular friend outside of Homeboy is just that. And her friend wants to leave her. It's sad. It's sad.

SPEAKER_02 55:51

Okay. But she's not trying to leave her, like it's not about Queen Charlotte, it's about Lady Danbury wanting to go back to her home, to her roots. It has nothing to do with Queen Charlotte. It's not like I'm leaving you.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

Yeah, I know that. We all know that. But okay, that's you know, that's all verbiage, right? That's all words. But the reality is that you're leaving me. It's not like your spirit's gonna leave. You're physically leaving me, and you're not physically going to be here to play these games with me. They play chess, right? They're playing chess. Like, there's no one here to play chess with. You're physically leaving me. So selfish. It's so selfish. And again, I get both of it. So sad. I get both of it. It's so funny. What's that? Did you cry? No. I don't know. I didn't cry. Cried you asked me.

SPEAKER_02 56:42

I cried when Charlotte apologized. You cried well? And then they hugged and I cried. But she was so mean to her. Like, yes, you are my subject. Uh I would have said the same thing to you. I am Queen Charlotte. Rude. Why would you leave me? I'm not leaving you. I'm just leaving.

SPEAKER_01 57:01

And it's I don't think she's saying it's for good. She hasn't said that either, though. That's the thing. And I think that's that's the kicker. She literally hasn't said. So I can see Queen Charlotte's frustration with her best friend leaving her with no return date.

SPEAKER_02 57:17

Well, you haven't given me a return date.

SPEAKER_01 57:20

So I'm just traveling the world. That's why I'm gonna make it back around.

SPEAKER_02 57:24

All right. So any predictions for next week's episode? So we left off. Oh, so we left off with Sophie and Benedict getting into the carriage and he's gonna help her find a job because he just cost her her job now. So what do you think happens in that carriage?

SPEAKER_01 57:41

I think that he's gonna sober up, but she'll be gone. He's gonna be like, oh my gosh, she looks familiar. But I feel at the end of the episode, he might feel that he ran into his future wife. I don't think that they're going to discover each other this episode. And I think that his mama before the show ends is gonna give her chocolate drop.

SPEAKER_02 58:07

Yes. She wants him.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

We want each other.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

What do you think? So I think what's gonna happen. I have two predictions. So I think that he's going to figure out that it's her, like when he drops her off somewhere. It's like their last words, and then it's gonna come back. And then I think that maybe he might hire her to work for him because he also has a place of his own. If not, maybe get her a job at his mom's home. Keeper close. Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

I think that's a good prediction, actually. My mind, I feel like I need to watch the next episode. So many outlets, Poor. You've choose yours and let us know.

SPEAKER_02 58:50

Yes, tell us what you think is going to happen next. Now, if you've already watched episode three, please don't tell us what's gonna happen. No spoilers here. Okay. But what do you think will happen in this Cinderella love story? All right, Poors, we are at the end of our episode. So I think we had some pretty good conversations, whether it's about your birthing options, whether you're gonna have a home birth, or just have a really good conversation with your OB about the type of birth you want to have, maybe in a hospital or wherever it is that you want to be. And just make sure you do your research. Also, um, if you want to try the new trend of not having such a structured schedule for your kids, that way they could develop these other skills that many seem to be lacking nowadays. Problem-solving skills, critical thinking, imagination, and then just having being able to be bored and being okay with it. I hope you survive spring break. Okay, if you need any ideas, feel free to reach out. Hopefully, we can give you something useful. And then stick around for episode three of Bridgerton. I I cannot wait to see what happens. I was a little scared I wasn't gonna like the season because of the wholesome developing, but it is not disappointing.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:15

Way to go, Netflix, for keeping the energy alive. But please make sure if you're not following us on any of our social media platforms, Instagram in particular, find us on Instagram and TikTok, pouring and parenting, and hit that follow button.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

Hit it. All right, pourers.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:36

Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Pouring and Parenting, where sip happens and we pour about it.