SPEAKER_02 0:03

Grab your glass and pull up a chair. It's time for your favorite girls' night in.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to Pouring and Parenting. We're your besties, Sill and Anish.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

We're here to laugh through the chaos. Hello, Poor's. Let's start the show. Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back to another episode of Pouring and Parenting. It's your girl Einish and Sill. And we have a very fun and hopefully energetic and inspiring episode for you all today. Um, Sill, how are you doing? I'm doing good. Having a pretty good week. So hopefully it continues that way.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

How about you?

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Great. You know, the week is going, a lot going on, and pushing through. Pushing through the week. So before we get started with today's episode, what did you pour in your cup today?

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Well, I didn't pour anything in my cup, but I did crack open a can of twisted tea light peach flavor. I mentioned another episode I am trying to get rid of all the alcoholic beverages that get left around at my house after parties, and that is one of them. So I have about four more cans to go of like random stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Wish me luck. Good luck. We are all cheering you on to get through those four cans. Woo! Let the countdown begin. I poured a ruby red margarita. I was out and about shopping to get ready for the next midweek pour and came across these cute little bottles from a brand called Chi Cheese. Not sure if you heard of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Not heard of an alcoholic brand named Chi Cheese.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Yes. It's called Chi Cheese. It's fun. And it was literally a personal serving size bottle. Cheers. Cheers. Indeed. Cheers, cheers, cheers. Not too shabby. Okay. So thank you all for joining us for another episode. Today's episode is called Check Yourself. And with the literal meaning, we need everyone to check yourself, check in with yourself. Where are you at? Depending on how you look at the year and how you move through the months, there are some people that look at where we're currently at as the second quarter of the year. We are ending four months. We're at the end of April, entering May. We're entering month five.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Where has the time gone? Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Where has the time gone? You blink, and we are almost halfway through the year. And so this episode, we're going to dedicate to checking into any goals that you may have had, the goals that we've had, and to see where we're at and making sure that we are on track to help us get back on track if we're not on track, staying focused, and remembering to also pour into ourselves. If your cup is empty, now's the time to check the status of your cup. Refill that cup if you need to refill that cup. So those are all the things that we're going to be talking about. But before we jump into that, we do have a hot topic that we're going to be talking about. It's a pretty in-depth hot topic. It's on trend with what we're going to be discussing today. So buckle up, hang tight, pour that glass, get comfy on the couch or whatever you all, you know, whatever you're doing in this moment. And let's start. People are shifting away from the typical goal setting aspect and they're moving towards gentle or sustainable goal setting, which emphasizes flexibility, intentionality, and well-being over rigid high pressure or purely numerical achievements. That information came from the from the University of Colorado, of Colorado Boulder. And just to further give some insight about that, this approach is often dubbed by gentle growth or aligned action. So this moves away from the traditional intense hustle culture in favor of sustainability. And we have four different aspects of this trend that Syl and I are going to touch base on. And Sill, I believe you have the first aspect of this trend.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

I do. The first aspect of this trend is fun goals. Flexibility, uplifting, and numberless. Experts are encouraging people to set goals that are flexible, which allow for life changes. If you're not flexible, you're probably going to have a hard time in general because stuff happens all the time that is out of our control. Uplifting, adding joy rather than punishment, and numberless. Focusing on the feeling or habit rather than just the number on a scale or a bank account. This one gets home for me, especially when it comes to uh the scales. One of my goals for this year was to lose weight. I've taken a couple different approaches with it. However, it's really hard sometimes to not focus on the number. But I do notice that there's times where my hard work is paying off and I'm feeling better and I'm feeling more energetic and I'm feeling better in my clothes. That to me would be the fun goal. I feel good about myself, and I'm not just such a stickler on I didn't lose two pounds this week. And being flexible sometimes, especially being a woman, things happen. That time of the month, you're gonna be more bloated. That's life, you can't control it. So the scale is gonna change a little bit, not in your favor. But then later on, it's gonna change the other way. So looking at things and just trying to be more positive with the goals that you set for yourself.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Absolutely well said. The next aspect that we'll that we will be touching base on is micro goals and tiny habits. This focus is shifting to make goals extremely small and achievable to maintain momentum and avoid burnout. This will include breaking large, daunting goals into about 15-minute daily tasks. Now, my relationship with this particular approach when it comes to goals is I actually do this. I've gotten into a place that I don't want to overexert myself when it comes to certain things. So making a point to micromanage just separated my laundry life. There's a lot of laundry to be done in the household. I don't do all the laundry in one day. I have separate days that is designated for laundry. It's not overwhelming for me. I know that that's a set day for the kids' laundry. I have a set day for my husband in my laundry, and it works. Laundry for people can definitely be overwhelming, especially the bigger household is. So keep that in mind, ladies and gentlemen. To if you have a laundry day, make it a laundry days, perhaps.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

I do all mine at once, and that's how I end up with clothes in my basket for like a week because I just get over it. It's like four loads later. All right, next goal is aligned action over hustle. So the emphasis is on taking small, consistent, and aligned actions every day rather than burning out on intense, unsustainable effort. This is sometimes called aligned action, focusing on what feels right instead of just what looks right. For example, talk about the weight loss. Me, for example, I've done like the crazy stuff, keto, uh seeing and all that. And it's a lot at one time and it's intense. Uh, you get burned out pretty quickly, and it's not sustainable. You can't always do that. Depending on the willpower and some stuff really is just too intense. So rather than burning yourself out, take those small, consistent, aligned actions that align with your values, that align with your everyday life. Maybe get home from work, go step out into the garden. And it's peaceful, it's it's also time for yourself, just you know, aligning your tasks to your everyday actions instead of just one big action at a time.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Way to self-reflect there. The last, the last one that we'll be touching base on is intentional intentionality and self-care, setting goals from a place of possibilities and peace rather than fear or scarcity, emphasizing that goals should be a form of self-care and self-improvement, not added pressure. Super big. And having the intention to make yourself better when you're making these goals. The goal is to elevate, not putting so much pressure on it that it's stressing you out. I I stress over stuff. I I want to attain all the goals that I set for myself, but I definitely have a stressful mindset and I can easily get into a space of overthinking. And instead of getting to that place of overthinking, finding some peace, finding a place of zen, talking to yourself, everything's gonna be okay, and making sure that the goals you are reaching for and wanting to attain, it's gonna be, if anything, self-improving, making sure that the focus is going to help me and not looking at it as a stressful place, but more as a place of improvement and overcoming that hill. Overall, these these four points that are the aspects of the gentle or sustainable goal versus where people are at. The trend now is really trying to get out of that high pressure space. There is so much pressure that we're already feeling the pressures of the world of being a parent, a daughter, a mother, a friend, a sister, a father, a brother. The pressures are never ending. Step away from that. Be gentle with yourself. Put yourself in a place that you're showing yourself grace. That was the word of our lives for the first several episodes when we started this podcast. And that's for sure. Just being intentional with your goals, giving yourself grace and emphasizing the flexibility that there is room to grow. You don't have to commit wholeheartedly to your own personal goal, to where it's in concrete. It's your secret goal. It's it's your goal to attain. And we're gonna move forward. So we hope you pick with that as you may. We're gonna move forward. Check yourself. Check yourself. One question that everyone needs to ask themselves is Did you set any unrealistic goals at the beginning of this year? Were there any goals that you set at the beginning of this year, at the end of last year, rolling into 2026? Syl and I recorded two episodes actually. Episode five, titled New Year, New Me, maybe. And then episode eight, I'll drink to that. Those two episodes actually mesh together because episode five, we talked about vision boards, we discussed setting goals, we discussed just setting a positive journey for our new year entering. Episode eight, I'll drink to that. We discussed pouring into ourselves and making sure we don't overdo it with our goals. Studies show that New Year's resolutions typically last less than four months, with many people abandoning them within the first month. Studies also show that approximately 80% of resolutions are abandoned by early February, with what they call Quitter's Day often falling around the second Friday of January. Only about 9 to 10% of people stick to their goals all year. That information was gathered by CPS, excuse me, that information was gathered by CBS News. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_00 11:37

It's insane, but I think it's because they set goals that are not realistic or they're not aligned to their everyday norms. So it's easier to fall off because you're not used to it. And unfortunately, many of us, including me, uh, I'm working on discipline. And I have to keep actually saying that word in my head, discipline, be disciplined, because new things or new habits don't just come naturally. Like you have to really work them in there if that's what you really want. It doesn't surprise me because so many of us are so quick to just want instant results, regardless of what we're doing, instead of putting in that work to being disciplined and not giving up. Just keep going. You might not do what you wanted one day. That doesn't mean the next time you just give up. You just get back up on the horse and you you go again. Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Episode five, we talked about vision boards. And I know for a fact that you created a vision board. How is your vision board looking? Have you dropped any goals? Where are you at right now?

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Okay, so I actually did my vision board slightly different this time. So I didn't put any numbers or deadlines or anything too crazy. And I did have a word of the year. Um, and I believe I said that in episode five. My words were to give grace to myself and to others. This year's word for 2026 is evolve. I evolve beyond my own limits, and I am in the process for sure. Um, is it easy? No. Am I every day just going strong? No. I I have fallen a few times, but I am trying to become more self-aware and more disciplined. I I am on my way to where I want to be. Um the things that I put on there were to walk faithfully, go to church more often, practice my religion more than I do, be intentional with my time. That one for sure is a little bit harder for me, but I'm working on it. Uh be patient with those around me, specifically my children, serving others, you know, j not just my household, but like it's a community. Um I'm, you know, I'm on my way there. Professional rise with my work settings, you know, trying to just become better at what I do, having that growth mindset. And one of the last ones I'll talk about is body kindness. Like I said, it is a goal of mine to lose weight, but being kind to my body. I didn't get like this overnight. I'm not gonna change overnight, but just being kind with the body that I have. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

Being self-aware of the goals that you set and where you're at now, being kind to yourself. We all need to be more kind to ourselves. I think you're doing great. I'm proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

So a good job, a way to go. And you know what? I think a lot of it also stemmed from last year, with my words being give grace. That has rolled into this year. And I I give myself a lot more grace than I did before. I give others a lot more grace than I did before. And that is helping me with the goals for this year. So it's it was intentional. It wasn't just a one-year thing. It's trying to build that in for for life.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Yes. When you mentioned that you choose a word every year, I thought that was a really great idea. Building blocks that you can look back on and and continue to grow because that's all we're trying to do. We're we're gonna we keep growing, we don't stop growing, we are ever evolving, we are forever changing, and we can't stop it. Thank you. I don't think I spoke too much about it. I was actually at a a place of limbo, and I believe if I mentioned any goals that episode, they were very surface. I honestly don't recall. But after the episode, I ultimately had to take a step back and really evaluate my life and where I was at and where I was moving, and ultimately decided to involve my husband into a vision board and just what what do we need? What do we need to do as a unit? And instead of making it so me focused, I needed that support for my husband. And he was all about it. He's he's never made a vision board, he had no idea what I was talking about. And ultimately, we were able to sit down and discuss our goals as a unit and discuss our our ideas and what we want and our desires for the future. We are determined and we're on the same page. I need his support, we need each other's support. He was so ready to do it. It was a place that I didn't know that that's where I was gonna end up going. But I will say that having the topic on the episode definitely helped my mindset get to that place. So go back and listen to episode five or episode eight. So this episode we're kind of combining the two.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

I really like that because I do remember that conversation. And yeah, it's kind of like, oh, like I don't, I don't know. But even being in that space, which some might take as negative, oh, you don't have any goals. It's like, no, no, no. Let me take a step back and let me include my partner because we may have goals that we want to share, or it's just important for us to share our future. It's our lives together. So I I think that's nice that yes, you didn't have maybe your own personal goals necessarily at the top of your head, but it brought you to a place that you had that moment with your husband. And I think that's beautiful in itself.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it was, yeah, I'm like, I'm thinking back. I was like sitting there like with a question mark over my head trying to trying to answer the question. I'm like, and maybe you you're in a a place of limbo, and that is completely okay. You may be single listening to this episode and say, hey, I don't have a partner to talk to, and that's okay. You don't need a partner to talk to. If anything, I feel a lot of it was self-reflecting. My self-reflecting was realizing that I can look to someone else. And if I didn't have anyone to look to, it was just me really learning myself into. I can get more spiritual with myself, look further into whatever your your spiritual guidance is or whatever your beliefs are, and maybe diving more spiritually into figuring out exactly how to embrace the life and the moment that you're in right now. So don't feel bad if you're still on a journey of figuring out where you're supposed to be at. Because if if that if you're already thinking about that and looking for that, I'm already thinking that you're close. The moment that Syl and I had that conversation, I really had to sit with myself and think, and I was able to find my resolution. So sit with yourself and meditate, pray if you're a prayer, and just self-soothe and find those answers. Sil, have you dropped any goals since you've looked at your list or vision board?

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Ah. Okay, so I had talked about my naps. And I I didn't necessarily put it on there, but I knew in the back of my head naps are gonna be necessary. And sometimes they are. But I realized it didn't align with my other goal of intentional time. Sometimes my naps get a little out of control, and I'm like, I just I just want to lay down and sleep. Um, but it it affects everything else. So that's one where I was okay, you know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna drop it. And it goes also with the way I was feeling my body, but now that I'm feeling a little bit better energy-wise, spiritually wise, I feel like I'm not looking for them. So I ended up dropping that one for sure. Now I don't mind a good nap.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Okay. One last question I'll ask you is are there any of your goals that you feel that you said were unrealistic? Unrealistic. Like, would you include the naps in there or is there something else?

SPEAKER_00 19:18

So naps were okay, slightly unrealistic. I really feel like I was very intentional with my vision board this year. So I can't say any of them were necessarily unrealistic, but I I did word things intentionally. So, for example, body kindness. I didn't put lose weight, lose 30 pounds or anything like that. I put body kindness for a reason because regardless of how I feel about my body right now, I need to be kind to it. I have now quite a few years of experience using a vision board that I'm starting to learn how to make it work for me. That doesn't mean that it's perfect by any means. I have fallen a few times from some of my goals, but I get back up. That's great.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

You're having moments that you can self-reflex. We've been doing vision boards for many of years now, and you have to do what works for you. What will resonate for you when you look at the vision board, when you look at your list, what's gonna work for you? I can't say we've dropped anything or we we've accomplished a couple of things. There are some that might fall through the cracks, but we had good intentions with putting it on there. Thank God we've gotten out of the clipping clips out of magazines and paper. I don't know if you would have sat there and clipped out magazine cutouts with me. So, ladies and gentlemen, there are definitely digital ways that you can make a vision board. Canva is a great way. Put a picture of your kids, look at your family, whatever your story is, whatever you want your vision to be for the upcoming year, and so forth. So, moving forward, what's holding us back? You mentioned that before, Sil, you were very specific. Now you're intentional with your words. And I feel maybe a lot of people do that. I said at the top of this show, 80% of people are dropping like flies because they're setting these goals. What do you what do you think is making people hold back? Why are so many people falling when it comes to setting goals for themselves?

SPEAKER_00 21:21

So, one of the reasons that people hold themselves back, even me, perfectionism, thinking we need to wait for the perfect time. I am very guilty of this. There is no such thing as perfect. There's never gonna be a perfect time to to do a lot of things. You just have to dive in, you have to make time. Actually, I was speaking to one of my sister in laws today, and she's talking about going back to school. And we I told her, you're just gonna have to dive in. Um, and I could be wrong, but I think what she might be waiting for that perfect time. There's always gonna be something. There is no perfect time. Something is always gonna pop up. You have to discipline yourself for however long it takes to get yourself. Done. I think that's that's what a lot of why a lot of people hold back. I didn't go for my run today because it was 87 degrees and I needed it to be 80. Well I just give up. So many people strive for perfection and it's just a really unrealistic.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Absolutely. A lot of people, myself included, strive for perfection and you have to get over that hop. You have to get past that wall and push forward. Another thing that is holding people back, fear. They're scared. It's scary out there to commit to something. I'm going all the way and I'm doing it. I'm diving in. That's a scary idea to commit to something because now you're committed. Now everybody knows that I'm committed to doing this and I have to stick with it. And that's pressure. Now I'm applying pressure to myself. So if I don't start, I don't have to deal with it. Fear is so big when it comes to making those goals, setting those goals, and actually taking that goal and sticking it to it. Sticking what it sounds like an old mom. Stick it, stick it to the man. Change is scary because ultimately, if you're setting goals for yourself, that means you're changing your dynamic in your lifestyle. If you have a goal set, that means there's something in your life that you want to change. And change is scary.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Yeah. You get nothing out of nothing. If you don't try, you're not getting anything. So don't let that fear hold you back. Yes, growth comes from trial, trial and error. Our next one is lack of time. It's really easy to be like, oh, I don't have time. I don't have time to go back to school. I don't have time to work out. I don't have time to start reading a new book. I don't have time to meditate, to go to church. Well, no one has time, if that's the case. I don't have time. I don't have time to do anything. Okay, I'm too busy. No, it's not how it works. You have to make some time. If there's a goal that you want, if there's something you want to get done, really do some self-reflecting on the time that you have during the day. What can you stop doing? What can you implement for even 10, 20 minutes a day? It's crazy how long we can spend just on our phones. Easily you can go 10 minutes just scrolling. What could you have done in those 10 minutes that will get you closer to your goal? Maybe going for a walk. Even if you want, like, for example, um, and this is not on my vision board, it's just something I kind of want to do, is get into reading again. And I ran into a neighbor who was having a yard sale and she was giving, well, she was selling a bunch of books, and she was very sweet. She ended up giving me some books, and I was like, oh, like I just I don't have time. And she's like, look, if you want to be a reader, just read, even if you're reading for only five minutes a day. Okay, maybe one day you'll read five minutes, another day you might read 10, another day you might read three. As long as you read something, you're gonna get closer to finishing a book. You're never gonna finish if you don't start.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

But you have to make that time, whatever it is, whether if it's a few minutes, get rid of something, stop watching TV, get up earlier. You don't need 10 hours of sleep. Get up a little bit earlier. So it really just depends on how bad you want something because time you have. You just gotta find it.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

The time is there. We all get 24 hours a day, and everyone spreads those 24 hours differently. Kevin Hart talks about that a lot, about how many hours a day that we're all granted, but it's a different 24 hours for each of us. And the question is, how are you going to handle your 24 hours a day? With that being said, we're gonna stop it right there and move on to our mid-show break. Sing to me. Sil, you are brilliant at telling the people how the show goes. So do what you do, boo.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

It's a lot of pressure now, but thanks. All right, so sing to me. Um, how it goes is I will ask Anish a question based on song lyrics. She not only needs to answer it correctly, but she needs to sing it back to me. Hence the name. And then vice versa, she'll ask me the question and I will have to sing the correct answer back to her. All right. So let's go ahead and get started. Anish, Chris Browns, give me that. I can picture a switching lanes in the blank with you on the phone screaming my name. In the lack?

SPEAKER_02 26:10

I just think of I can hear him. I know he's in the lack. Okay, one more time, and then I'm I'm willing to take my L.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

I can picture a switching lanes in the blank with you on the phone screaming my name. I don't know. He's on the lack still. I don't know. I can picture a switching lanes in the coop with you on the phone screaming my name. Oh no. What was Erica Badu going underwater with? Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I don't think I know any Erica Badu songs.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Okay, that's fair. The answer is she was going underwater with three dollars and six times. Okay, yeah. Never in my life that I have catched that. The song is going on and on.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

So I was going underwater with three dollars and six times. Yeah, you may laugh because you did not. Okay, all right. Yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

And the song Blame It by Jamie Foxx featuring T Payne. I was unaware how fine you was before my blank. Buzz kicked in. Now I got Erica Badu's song in my head.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Blame in with I can't eat.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

I literally have the rhythm of her song in my head. Okay, I was unaware how fine you was before my It's not before my buzz kicked in, before my drink kicked in.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Before my drink? Drink?

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Your first word is correct. I'll give you that hint.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Before my buzz sank in, still you're not singing.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

So I'll be attempted to give you half a point. What is it?

SPEAKER_02 27:38

I can't even I can never think of the rhythm. My brain won't allow me to work like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

I was unaware how fine he was before my buzz set in. Set in. Before my buzz set in.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

I like my words better. Hit me up, Jamie. Okay. In the song, What's My Name? Rihanna featuring Drake. How much time does Drake say he needs? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

Oh gosh. Okay. I'm torn because I feel like I'm seeing. I could just be totally making up lyrics right now. Do what I do. Just a little? It's a number. It's a number. Okay. Alright. Okay. Thank you for that.

unknown 28:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

So I could be even thinking of a whole different Drake verse and song. Okay. How much time does Drake say he needs? Now I'm listening to the whole song. Oh my gosh. Cannot lose again. Three hours. Like three hours sounds right. Wow. That's aggressive. Is that your final answer?

SPEAKER_02 28:35

That is my final answer. I don't know. The things that we can do at 20 minutes, girl. Say my name, say my name. Wear it out.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

I was probably thinking of a different verse. Different song. Shoot. You were singing the right song. I know, but his part, his actual part.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

Okay, ladies and gentlemen. This is the hit show, right? To me. Life be life, and sometimes you can't win them all. As we move forward with today's episode, we're gonna jump into segment two and we're gonna set boundaries and make necessary adjustments to the uh the previous topics that we were talking about. Let's figure out ways to surpass the little voice in your head telling you that you can't do it. We are gonna hopefully give you guidance and not be so hard on yourself. Push forward. Let's discuss shifting, dropping, or accelerating some of the goals based on the first four months. Again, we are four months in. Barely, that's it. We are four months in. There's there is so much year left to 2026. There is plenty of time to start new goals, jump into the goals that you haven't even started yet. Add on to the goals if you already surpassed those goals, or pick up where you left off if you started and stopped. So, based on the second quarter, if you look at the year in that manner, because some people are looking at the end of April, beginning of May as the beginning of the fourth quarter. Oops, fourth quarter. Wow. Let me not stress y'all out as the beginning of the second quarter of the year. And just to check in with yourself, let's report into ourselves. Do not punish yourself if you are still where you started out at in December or January. It's okay to not be where you felt like you should be right now. Still, do you have any words of wisdom to add to that? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Silencio Bruno. You've ever watched the Disney or Pixar movie Luca, a little boy. Oh crap, I don't remember his name now. He says Silencio Bruno. And that's how you silence a little voice in your head. So I am not gonna lie, I have said that to myself before. Silencio Bruno. One, because it gives me a chuggle. Two, because there's a point to it. Sometimes we just have that little voice in our head that is either punishing ourselves or rethinking or fear. And sometimes you need to silence that voice in your head and really go with what you want. Whether it's getting yourself back up, starting for the first time, you need to push through. Silencio Bruno. Silencio Bruno.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

So ultimately, just take a beat and look at where you're at in your current circumstance. Is your cup empty? That might be why you're feeling defeated. Maybe you've been pouring too much. And with that, we're gonna jump into check in with yourself. Check in and see where you are at. Take a step back. Write it down and see what your goals were and where has your output been going to? And where have you been placing your energy to fulfill yourself? Are you interacting with your hobbies that you love to do? Your career, are you where you want to be at? Your mental health, where are you with that? And making sure that you take the time to really look into yourself to see where your cup is. That's the self-evaluation that I mentioned earlier. You don't need to have a partner. You can self-love on yourself. If you haven't, you haven't listened to episode 20, Shut Up and Drive. We have a really great guest on there by the name of Deshaun. He is single and he talks about self-love and caring for himself and making sure that he takes the time for himself. So are you doing that? Check in with yourself. So do you check in with yourself or do you feel like it's something you need to work on?

SPEAKER_00 32:33

It's probably something I need to work on. Um a couple weeks ago. We went on a family trip and it's allowed me to pour into myself, to pour into my family. And after the trip, um, although I was exhausted, I was also rejuvenated.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

Taking those trips, those family trips, and being able to get into a space that you're just away from the hustle and bustle, and you can focus on what's important to you and embracing that and pouring into your loved ones and hoping they pour back into you to further refill your cup. Make sure you're checking in with yourself where your cup is, half empty, half full. Another thing we're gonna touch base on is that it's okay to say no to people if it's going to align with saying yes to your personal goals. If something comes up and it's just not aligning with where you're at in your life, with where your goals are, your cup is on E, and you might want to say yes, but hey, I need to focus on me. I can't say yes this time. I have to say no. I feel like we touched based on that on our episode or one of those two episodes, either episode five or episode eight. Play Russian roulette and listen to both of them. How about that, ladies and gentlemen? Get a little gem from both of them. But you don't have to say yes to everyone. You don't have to be a yes person. You can say no if that's going to help you refill your own personal cup. Maybe you just want to sit home, have a glass of wine, have a cup of tea, some ice cream and binge watch on Netflix, and that's how you refill your cup. That is a hundred percent okay. You have to control the energy that you're letting come into your space because the energy that you're outputting is that much of your cup that you're exporting out. So make sure Thank you. So make sure that you're in control of your tongue. Don't say yes. Who who cares? I guarantee they're asking again. Say no sometimes. It is okay, especially if you're saying yes to your rules. With that being said, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to end today's episode with Bridgerton. Episode seven and episode eight. If you have not watched any Bridgerton, if you're on episode six, if you want to watch Bridgerton, listen, if, if, if, if, if, log out. If you've watched it and you want to hear our opinion, stay tuned. And if you haven't watched it, you don't want to hear any of these spoiler alerts. Please log out. Right. Don't come for us. That is your warning. We're gonna quickly touch base on season four, episode seven, and season four, episode eight. Those are the last two episodes of Bridgerton. Again, the beyond. A lot is going on right now. At the end of episode six, there was a very unfortunate situation that happened with John. And we find out at the beginning of episode seven that there is a passing. It was very sombering, and they confirmed that John indeed passed away. There was just a lot of energy focused around how they were going to either celebrate or remember John. There is also a lot of energy around Francesca because everyone was concerned about her emotions. Mama Bridgetton is dealing with a lot herself. Sophie is trying to skip town. Ultimately, towards the end of the episode, goofy ass Benedict figures it out. So, how did you feel about episode seven?

SPEAKER_00 36:08

The beyond Episode 7 was a lot. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster, to say the least, watching Francesca grieve through um the majority of the episode. At one point, she thought she was with child, turns out she wasn't with child. Her mom is trying to comfort her, and she finally skits stopped her chest. Like, you and I are not the same. Her mother is also a widow. She argues we are not the same. You still gave our father eight children. I gave John nothing. She's feeling inadequate. She's feeling unfulfilled. She's feeling like she let John down by not providing an error for him, the family. So she's really going through a lot. Her mom's just trying to figure out ways to help her. On top of the fact that, you know, she has these other kids that are also going through things like Benedict, who is, you know, arguing with his mom about being in love with Sophie. They come to the conclusion that Benedict loves Sophie and Lady Violet is giving her blessing, but also telling him there's gonna be consequences due to society. Do what you need to do. And she even gives him a ring to give to her. Oh, Benedict finds out a little too late that she is the lady in silver. Sophie leaves the house because Araminta, her evil stepmother, is trying to have her arrested, and Sophie gets word of that. She is on her way to the Americas when Arimenta has her arrested for stealing her um her shoe clips and also impersonating impersonating nobility when she attended the masquerade bot the beginning of the season. It was a lot. Benedict searching for her, he finally, you know, has this epiphany. I'm gonna propose. And she gets arrested. Hazel, the maid friend, tells him she's going to the Americas. And so now he just thinks all hope is lost until we get into episode eight.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

Dance in the country. The last episode of season four of Bridgerton begins with Sophie being thrown in jail. This episode is tying everything together as every last episode does. There's a party brewing for Lady Agatha's departure, which is being thrown by the queen. There is a court trial with Lady Pinwood, the evil stepmother. Sophie ends up getting out on bail for several reasons. She goes on a hunt for her father's will. What does the will say? Lady Agatha is doing one last good deed with trying to convince the queen to allow such an unconventional love affair. I wrote this. Is Michaela, dare I say, falling for Francesca? Oh. Hmm. The Bridgertons confront Pinwood. Oh my goodness, the list goes on. Mama Bridgerton has her vibe that she's trying to keep alive. Michaela dips out. Girl, what do you have to say about this? I can keep going, but I mean, let's start from the top. Where do you want to start? Let's Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

So let's start with Sophie and Benedict. She does get released from jail. Kitty Penwood still really upset that she's out on bail. She's, I think, even more upset the fact that Benedict has a liking for Sophie. She knows it and she wanted Benedict for her own daughter. However, there was that hidden will. Sophie tells Benedict, you know, in an intimate moment, that she never actually saw the will. And he was like, Why would you just believe her? She treated you so awful. And sure enough, it reveals that Lady Penwood actually embezzled the funds for her daughter's own dowry. So that was like a whole showdown at the Queen's ball that she's throwing for Lady Danbury. But it it really did work out in Sophie's favor. It turns out Lady Penwood's um offenses were much greater than Sophie's, and she had a lot more to lose. The Queen ends up blessing Benedict and Sophie. The Queen just found it funny, like, okay, go about your business. Good luck to you, Benedict and Sophie. We get a proposal from Benedict in the middle of the dance floor. It was so sweet. Uh, so it finally happened for Sophie and Benedict, finally. One thing I did find really sad though was Lady Bridgerton. She realizes that she's reconnecting with her younger self. And, you know, she spent so long being with her husband and being a mother that she kind of is excited about the thought of finding herself again. And she realizes that she cannot do that by marrying Lord Marcus Anderson right away. So she lets him know that. So instead of just keeping their casual uh relationship the way it is, he decides to leave. So that that was kind of sad. She wants to play the field. I took it more as her just doing her own thing. She wants to play the field. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

I I she don't want to be tied down. I don't want to be locked in with you. I think that she wants to play the field. It's fun, it's exciting. We're keeping it a secret. My homegirl is not telling the kids. Yeah, the oldest son knows that I stink you in. Why do we have to be married? Why do we have to tell everyone? This is fun.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

This is exciting. Lady Whistledown. She retired to write a novel. She had to get the Queen's blessing to stop writing her column. However, at the end of an episode, there is a new column sent out. And now there is a mysterious Lady Whistledown out and about. I look forward to seeing the next season. Do you have any guesses? I think it's her. You think it's I think it's Penelope.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

Penelope. I was thinking Eloise. Eloise was sho showing an interest in people. She was, you're right. She knows her sister-in-law, and maybe she's gotten pointers from her. Because she knew who she was before the world did. Someone she decided she'd pass a baton to herself.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

Yeah. Oh, possibly. So we shall see. I'm really excited for this next season, whenever that may come about. Whenever that season comes about. Yeah, but it it was a good season. I didn't think I was gonna care for it as much as I ended up liking it just because I don't I didn't like that it it didn't feel original as far as like the Cinderella plot. But it was good. I liked it. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

And Lady Agatha made her exit. We probably won't see Lady Agatha unless she comes back for a cameo. We shall see what happens with that. I enjoyed the season. We knew who was gonna end up together, but at the end of the day, it was when was it gonna happen? It took the entire season for them to finally come together. But that's what we all wanted a happy ending, and a happy ending we all received. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the end of our episode, and we thank you so much for hanging in there with us. At the end of the day, all we hope for you all, our poorers, is to focus on the small wins, celebrate any progress, no matter how small made in these first four roughly five months.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

Silencio Bruno, silence that silence that voice in your head. Get your goals accomplished. Start over if you need to. If you fall, get back up, but don't give up and don't be scared to not try. You only fail if you do not start. There is a learning lesson in everything that we do. Learn from your experiences and push through. Be resilient and good luck with your goals. for this remaining for the remaining three quarters of the year.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Pouring and Parenting.

SPEAKER_00 44:09

Where SIP happens and we pour about it.