SPEAKER_02 0:03

Grab your glass and pull up a chair. It's time for your favorite girls' night in.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Welcome to Pouring in Parenting. We're your besties, Sill and Einish. We're here to laugh through the chaos.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Hello, Poor's.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Let's start the show. Welcome to Pouring in Parenting. I'm Sill and I'm Einish. And today we are going to be doing a deep dive into Mother's Day. But before we do that, heesh, how's it going? It's going great. Happy Mother's Day, mama. Yeah, happy Mother's Day to you too. And for those of you who cannot see us, which is most of you, we are we are actually in our PJs because why not? It is we are celebrating Mother's Day. We are relaxed on our comfy seats, and we are drinking what? Anish, what are you drinking?

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Yes, keeping it comfy and cute. I am drinking a margarita, just a plastic lime margarita on the rocks, tahine rim, yummy.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Oh my gosh, we are almost ain't sees. So I am drinking a vodgarita. So I have a vodka watermelon mixed margarita with thaien on the rim. Yum.

unknown 1:17

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

All right, cheers. Cheers. Yummy. So good, especially with the heen. I almost didn't put thah. I was being lazy. Let's go. I was being so lazy. And I was like, you know what? Let me just do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

And I'm so glad you did. Yay. And real quick, you said that they can't see us, but you can see us, ladies and gentlemen, if you follow us on Instagram or TikTok. Go follow us. Go find us, Point and Parenting.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

And you can see our PJs. Ooh, so cute.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Yay.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

All right. So, like I said, we are diving into the third most popular holiday in the world. Mother's Day. Doesn't it feel so good? We are part of the third most popular holiday in the entire world. We will be discussing the history of Mother's Day, gifts, gifting, do's and don'ts, gifting do's and don'ts, and our own mothers, and Mother's Day dilemmas. So let's go ahead and get started. So, a little bit of the history of Mother's Day for those of you who didn't know. Mother's Day has roots that go back before its official founding. So in the late 1800s, Anne Reeves Jarvis created Mothers Work Clubs to improve childcare and later organize events to bring families together after the Civil War. Around the same time, Julia Ward Howe promoted a Mother's Day proclamation calling for peace. The holiday, as we know, was established in 1908 by Anna Jarvis, the daughter of Anne Reeves Jarvis, who honored her late mother by organizing the first official celebration. It became a national holiday in 1914 when Woodrow Wilson, President Woodrow Wilson, declared the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day. Ironically, Anna Jarvis later became frustrated with how commercialized the holiday became and spent much of her later life trying to have it removed from the calendar and restore it to its original more personal meaning. Yikes. Yeah. And I read that, I'm like, oh, that kind of sucks. Like, yeah. Because it is so commercialized. It's all about, oh, the cards and the candies and the flowers and the dining out. And it it gives, you know, you don't where's the personalization of it? You know, it doesn't have to be so big.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely very big. And the fact that she wanted to keep it in the roots of where it originated from was sweet. But and then you feel bad for Woodrow for I'm doing here comes a man trying to do a good deed. And she was like, let's tone it back a little bit. That's not why I did it. But thank you, sir.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Capitalism at its finest. They saw the opportunity. It wasn't the president, I don't think. You know, he just made it a holiday, but it's those companies who saw the opportunity. Hallmark. Yeah, capitalizing off of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Oh. Okay, well, let's talk about some fun facts for Mother's Day. Over $35 billion is spent on Mother's Day, typically on flowers, cards, and dining out. It's also the busiest day for restaurants. We know firsthand when I used to wait tables.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Mother's Day is also the top phone call day. More calls are actually made on Mother's Day than any other day of the year, usually causing a 37% spike in traffic as far as phone calls go. Call your mama. Okay. Carnations are the official Mother's Day flower. You give colored carnations to signify a mother's living. White carnations are to signify that she has passed away. In case you didn't know that. Fun fact.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Yeah, I didn't know that they were the official flower. I feel like so many people just give out roses all willy-nilly, but clearly Mother's Day is carnations and make sure they are colorful if your mother is still alive. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

That's crazy. I used to, I feel like when we worked at the restaurant we worked at, I feel like we used to give out carnations. I don't know why I remember that, but I feel like I just remember giving out carnations specifically. Did you bring them from home?

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Oh, I know I got time to be buying carnations. No, seriously, where we worked at.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

I don't remember. Where we worked at, I I'm almost certain that they would give out carnations. Not even I don't feel like I'm making that up. The fact that it's in my memory bank and it just got unlocked right now. So yes, we'll fact check that later. Between you and I.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yeah, I guess so. All right. So with Mother's Day comes gift giving. Now, this could be a time of fun. Can't wait to see what I'm gonna get. To also stress, like, what the heck do I get someone who has it all? AKA our mothers. So, seriously. First, let's see. Ainish, have you told your husband what you want for Mother's Day? Yes. Can we know what that is? Sure.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

No, this isn't something that I've always done. But again, we've known each other for years. If you've been hanging tight with us for all of these episodes and stay through from beginning to the end of the episode, you know that my husband and I have been married for a minute, and well, we're learning each other. I learned to be vocal. I don't need you to come home with something that I, and I don't want to sound ungrateful, but don't waste your money if I don't want it. So, yes, I'm very vocal. What I want this year, and still and I, you've talked about a couple of things. You and I have talked, I've spoken about a couple of things that I wanted to receive this year. I feel like I need a little bit more jewelry on my hand. I have my wedding band. That's the only ring that I wear. So one thing, and now that I'm thinking about it and saying this out loud, I don't know if I told him this, but one thing that I do want, if you're listening, sir, and is just some real gold specifically rings that are cute and that I can wear on a daily basis. Another gift that I thought would be great for Mother's Day, and even from the kids, is perfume. Everyone needs perfume. We want to smell good out there. And I, you know, I think that's honestly, that's really good. Like perfume, jewelry, and he honestly does a really good job. Last year he got gifts that my oldest son drew up, and that's priceless, right? Your kid paints you a picture and that's priceless. So I'm not too picky. Facials, my husband's given me facials in the past. That's easy peasy flowers. So, but the the but the specific things I did say was perfume and apparently not jewelry, because none of them was saying it out loud a lot. I don't think I told him, so I don't know. Tell him right now. Is there time? Let me text him. I'm gonna text him. I know what else I need to want.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

What about you, so have you told your hubby what you want? Yes. So I have told him what I wanted. It didn't go as planned. So what I want, and I'm a brat. Let me just tell you that right now. I know I'm a brat, but hey, this is who I am, and I accept it. But should he? I right? He married me, he knew he was gonna stop it too, I think. What I told him I wanted is the Ninja Flex Flame Outdoor 5 in one cooking system with grill cover.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Yes, that is what I want. Now, it is right now at Costco for $899.97.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Double damn.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

I know it's it's a lot. But mind you, we have had our grill for almost 10 years. Okay, I think that's like a good enough amount of time to have a grill and then toss it out. And this does so much stuff. Like I could just do so many activities with this grill. You know, I I am trying to become a grill master, and I can't do that with my current situation.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Does that support a grill too?

SPEAKER_01 9:01

It has it all. Yeah, grill, smoke, roast, all sorts of I mean, you can make pizza in it. Like literally, I could just cook outside every day if I wanted to. Like I can make it all. And who's gonna benefit from this? His. So why not? Why the freak not? So when I told him what I wanted, and then he looked it up. That's the first thing he did. He laughed and told me I was crazy. So then I rebutted, thinking I knew what I was doing. And I said, okay, fine. I know what to get you for Father's Day then. He was not having it. He's like, I will take it back. Don't you dare, blah, blah, blah. But this morning, just this morning, and I needed ammo for today's episode. And here it is. Just this morning, I was scrolling through Instagram and I seen this video where it's like reminder Mother's Day is coming up with a blah blah blah. And this is how long an epidural needle is. And it is like what, six, seven, maybe eight inches long. It is so long. And I was like, you know what? How dare he tell me that he is not gonna get me the ninja flame throwing grill, whatever I called it, five in one thing. I deserve that. Absolutely. I went through hell and back with my first child, damn near almost died, went through a very stressful second pregnancy because I was high risk. All the needles up in my back, in my hand, in my arm, all sorts of stuff going on. How dare you? So, unfortunately for him, he was right outside the restroom door when I opened it and I just went in on him. Yeah. I'm hoping that just tipped him over to get what I want. I will keep you posted.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

You know what? Please keep us posted. And I just, as you were talking about this right now, I can't believe I forgot. I did ask him to get me something else. Oh, yeah, what? Tickets to see Chris Brown and Usher. The tickets are out, and I just recently asked him. I don't know why that slipped my mind. I guess I didn't necessarily ask him for Mother's Day, but it was just a request that I made because the tickets are pre-sale at the moment and they're not necessarily on sale. So they're available, and I asked him, but it wasn't specifically for Mother's Day because I requested the perfume weeks ago. Right. I did ask him for some Chris Brown, Chris Brown and Esher ticket. So fingers crossed, Queen. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. The hottest ticket and the hottest grill out. Right in 2026. The hottest ticket and the hottest grill out right now. Do you want you should come with oh my gosh, you want to see them? Do you want to go?

SPEAKER_01 11:45

I really do want to see Bruno Mars more though.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Like if I had to choose, I would go to Bruno Mart's.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Okay. All right. So now that we got the gifts out of the way. What is your ideal Mother's Day? In a perfect world, what would your ideal Mother's Day be?

SPEAKER_02 12:04

I feel my perfect Mother's Day would be I wake up in the morning on my own with breakfast made or purchased. I don't mind. I'm a really big breakfast sandwich girly or burrito. So if they make me a nice breakfast burrito, it's already on the table with a bouquet of flowers and a gift card to get a massage and a facial that offers mimosas. And if they don't offer mimosas, I go and do that. So I eat my breakfast, I get my facial, I get my massage, and then I go home and the kids greet me. But then he's like, oh, at that point, because I haven't seen them all day yet, right? They just barely greeted me at like two in the afternoon. And then my husband's like, oh, here's your the second half of your gift. And I meet all my girlfriends at a karaoke bar or something. And even a bar for a afternoon brunch or something. And but there's mimosas there, or there's just just drinks there and a hotel that I can sleep in by myself. Nobody there, just me by myself. And I got dropped off or picked up. I don't care. I just didn't drive anywhere today. And and then I get to sleep again by myself. That's it. That's perfect. A facial drinks, friends, a kid for a minute or two, and then I'm gone.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

That's it. Oh my gosh, that sounds like a dream. I was like picturing everything like so good. That's all I want. One day a year, right? That's it. What about you? Same. No. Same. Honestly. The only thing I was thinking, like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna have to like get an Uber. And then you said, yeah, not driving anywhere. Yeah. Can you still see the kids for a bit? I think I would love to wake up and I wouldn't mind them being there, but like I would want them all like already dressed and then just like being on their very best behavior. And you know, just like giving me a bunch of love and like leaving me alone. I'm not like I'm not big on breakfast, but I mean, if he made me some like homemade chulaquiles, woo, that would be delicious with some coffee. Yeah, and then maybe take like a nice nap after. And then yeah, then like wake up and yeah, go get like a pedicure or you know, you know what? Actually, what I really want, and I don't know if you've seen it, they have these like head spas type thing where like you lay down and they have this like type of contraption that like sprays water on your hair, right? And and like they like it just looks so like it just it just looks like it's everything you need in your life. Yes, it's just shooting down on your hair, and then they just like give you like this scalp massage, as they just do all this stuff to your scalp, and it just that just sounds so good. And to do that and just be so like rejuvenated, or maybe even to go to like uh what is like Glenn Ivy or something like that. Like that would be like just such a relaxing day, yes, and then yeah, maybe like FaceTime with the kids for a little bit, you know, because it's still Mother's Day, you know, I'm still mother, but then yeah, like uh mum mosas and friends, you know, girlfriend, you know, whatever, whoever, any woman, mama, or whoever's around, you know, just have a good relaxing time where I don't really have to lift a finger or drive. Yeah, and then yeah, at the end of the day, come home. Everyone's already in bed. You just go give them kiss good night, right? Go to sleep and just dream of that wonderful day I just happened over and over again.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Yeah, my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Just peace, quiet, no mamas. Yeah, I I know. I know. I mean, God bless them. But like, really? Can we just not? Can you forget me for like a second? Just a few hours. Just a few hours. We love it. Not even a whole 24 hours because we're sleeping for most of it.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Seriously, like half the day.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Give me 12 hours. So, do you think that we're wrong for not wanting to fully be engulfed in our kiddos on Mother's Day?

SPEAKER_02 16:21

Absolutely not. I feel if you are a mom and you're actively engaging in your children, you deserve a break. Whatever your situation is, whatever the circumstances are, we are the nurturers and the kids automatically cling to the moms. It's their genetic making. I'm clinging to my mom for nurture and care because that's just the that's what it is. And if you want to have that one day out of the year, that's that leaves the other 364 days to cling to me like a spider monkey, then do that. But here I am asking for one day, and there's a lot of working mamas out there that maybe want the opposite of what we're saying, and they could be career women, and there's lawyers out there that work, and whatever your career choice may be, that you work the the most hours outside of you and your husband, and perhaps you're the breadwinner and you're listening to us and saying, Oh, I want the opposite of that. We respect that too. As long as you should respect our point of view too. As long as you respect our point of view too. But considering who we are and where we are and our family dynamic, I don't think that's I don't feel guilty for saying that out loud and proud. Give me one day. And and our husbands, and not to say that, oh, well, find you a better man that'll do that, because I there's gonna be some haters out there listening, like, oh yo, man, don't do that. We are in the positions that we're in because we want to be. We're happy and this is making the wheels turn and we're doing it, we're we're exactly where we want to be. But the fact that there's a designated day on a God-given Sunday, and let that be the Lord's day. If I can, you know, I would do that. God chose us women to bury the children.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

Yes. So no, I don't feel guilty at all.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

I don't think anyone should feel guilty for for wanting that one day to do that. What about you? I feel like you don't, okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

I mean, I don't think it's wrong, but I always have a sense that, you know, there's always those people out there. And I I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but there's always those like really like proud moms, you know, that are, you know, I just feel like are really just stubborn inside. But they're like, oh no, like it's Mother's Day. They made me a mother. I'm gonna be with my babies and blah, blah, blah. And I can't breathe without them. You know, they just look down on us who are like, I just want a spa day and have some drinks and be with my girls, and that's it.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Oh, you might be with my husband too, but someone's gonna watch the kids. So I don't even want to be around him, quite frankly. In no shade. I love that man down, sir. Good day. You and the boy. Don't ask him for anything. Get out of here. We have our anniversary, we have other days so we can hang out. Wendy Williams, who I admire and look up to, she would always talk about Mother's Day, and that's all she wanted. She wanted her space and her privacy. Not to say that you need to look up to her by any means, nor is she my reason to say that, but there's just a celebrity out there who agrees with me, too, for us.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Okay. All right. So as I was doing some research for Mother's Day, I came across something that I didn't know existed. There is an actual Costco guide to Mother's Day gifting. And it's by it's a YouTuber. Uh her she goes by Gina's shopping life. And I just wrote down some of the things that I saw. It was like a 27-minute video, so I definitely did a lot of quick scrolling or fast forwarding. But here's the things you can get at Costco that seem like decent ideas. So, first, a gift card to C's candy. So, you know, if you want um some good chocolate, some you know, quality candy, you can get a $50 gift card for $40.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Okay. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Right. Yeah. So, you know, even if it's for uh, you know, maybe not directly like your mother, but maybe um like an auntie or a grandma or, you know, just someone that you see as a mother figure, you know, there you go. Um, I think it's two $25 gift cards, actually. Um, not just one gift card. I think it was two for the for $40, which was $40. Nice. There was this other thing that I thought that was pretty cool, and I think you would like it. It was a little pricey though. Um, it's a skylight calendar touch screen. So it's kind of like a big old tablet, but it's a calendar. Um, and I thought of you be and I thought of your son as well because you guys are so organized.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

It's $290. I know exactly what you're talking about. I I don't want to get, I'm sorry, go ahead. Oh no, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Okay, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's a good size. You can hang it on the wall, and you're so right. I seen it. I didn't request it because you're right, it is a little pricey, and we my son and I are used to using our markers and our dry erase markers to go, you know, cross the dates off and everything. So I did see that. It looks so cool. I know a hundred percent what you're speaking about. And do I want one in the future? Yes. But I will say that if you have a large family, I do feel that that would probably be a good investment because you can type it in instead of writing and erasing and rewriting, because you can just type it in and have the recurring dates go so you don't have because because I have to rewrite everything every week. Again, not a big deal. But we have a it's a small family.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

But if you have a bigger family, then a hundred percent or even if your kids are like a little bit older, because yours, yours is still, you know, they're fairly. But when you know both kids are older and they both have so much going on, I believe there's an app that you can download and you can it'll like sync to your calendar. So you just type in your things or everyone can type in their things. And there it is. Am I selling Costco here? I need some commission. Next thing they had was jewelry. I know you talked about jewelry. Um they actually have some pretty pieces. Um you know that they range in in prices. Um, there was something also called the Carver Stone Collection. It was like a digital photo frame. I didn't get the price on that for some reason. Um, but that was also pretty cool. And I know, like for you, because you um don't print out pictures like you should, but it's a digital camera where you is and it's like you connect it to Wi-Fi and you can just upload all your pictures there. There you go. I like that. You know, okay. Then of course there's blenders like the ninja blenders, the um the single serve ones for your smoothies, coffee makers. You know, you go from like just like a regular curie to like the latte makers. If you need it, okay. Like I don't get me a blender unless I'm asking, you know, unless you know mine broke. Same thing with a coffee maker. Please get me a coffee maker if mine breaks, but if not, no, thank you. What I saw on there that I thought was not ain't something that most moms would want. Candles. I have more than enough candles. I don't need candles for Mother Staying kitchen accessories.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Kitchen accessories, such as like a lazy Susan Tupperware. Don't get me a lazy Susan or Tupperware. Like this isn't a bridal shower. No, thank you to that. And then decorative plants as well. Faux plants. No, no, thank you. Now, what I did think was a good idea is, and it's not just necessarily flowers. Like, I'm okay not getting a bouquet of flowers if you get me a potted plant. Because there's like the like the orchids, like some nice plants that already come in pots, but plants that are not rooted and are gonna die right away, you know, I mean, save your money because actually the potted plants are a lot less expensive than the bouquet of flowers that don't last as long. They they had these beautiful orchids that are in a pot and they were about $20 some dollars. But on Mother's Day, price the prices of flowers are inflated. A bouquet, a nice bouquet of flowers, and the cost you like roughly about $40. So, you know, there's that to think about.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

Anything that I said that you don't agree with, I don't want candles, I don't want fake plants or artificial plants. What about a lazy Susan? I don't know what a lazy Susan is.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

You said that, and what's a lazy Susan? So lazy Susan is basically think about like a dish that can rotate. So you can put like a few dishes on it and like rotate it. That's cute.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

I don't host enough, I guess, for that. So I don't I don't need a lazy Susan. So the plant, a real plant would be great. I'm all about plant life right now. I don't have any real plants. That's something I've been looking to invest in and become a plant mom. Hey, I love that for you. But if it's anything, ask questions for the person that has everything. Ask them what would you like? It's so few words, and they'll give you an answer back. And if they don't give you an answer back, then give them a hug. Send them flowers. Yeah. But don't try to guess if you don't need to guess, because there is no harm in asking a question. I feel we were all taught that in grade school. To ask, ask the questions. So a lot of the things you said that I'm not, I'm not anti-against everything you said, but the lazy Susan, no, and the artificial plants, no, candles, no, thank you. A real plant, yes. That's where I'm at with that.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

All right, so I did look up one more place. Um, it was Yahoo's shopping that gave me information. So I'll just go over some of these really quickly. There was one that's called a fresh paper peony paradise pop-up card. And it basically it's this big old, like almost like realistic size bouquet of flowers, but they're fake. They're made out of paper. And it comes with a card, but the idea is that they'll last a long time. All I know is that they're gonna collect dust and I can't wipe it off. So, you know, thank you to that. Another one which I was like kind of on the fence about was an unbox me tea lover's gift basket. So basically, um, it just didn't seem very personal, but I'm assuming maybe for someone who needs to send a gift to someone who's maybe like out of state or you know, just that they're not gonna see, maybe this would be something ideal. And it comes with socks, tea, honey, cinnamon, and a mug. Um, I mean it was cute. I just, I don't know. This one I put no. I don't know who came up with this list. A ceramic petite tomato croquet. It's it was just a ceramic dish, basically, that looked like a tomato. I just can't imagine the my the face I would make if someone handed that to me for Mother's Day. Like, it shouldn't have, really. I mean, I appreciate things. Then they wrote laundry basket. I will literally throw the basket back at you. Now, if it's filled with like champagne, if it's filled with stuff like I'm gonna use, okay, cool. Okay, if that's like what you're using to carry the gift.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

That's a good thing to keep in mind, though. That's a really great idea if you want to give your partner a gift that's more domestic, like a laundry basket or a dish rack. Fill it up with things that they like. With because I mean, obviously, a dish rack isn't ideal deal, excuse me. A dish rack isn't ideal, nor is a bas a hamper, but you fill it with champagne, their favorite snacks.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

I'm here for it. Okay, so it has to be like a multi-purpose, double meaning type thing in order for me to get with it. Because what I I like to literally just said laundry basket. Oh, people actually hate their mothers and give them stuff still. Fill it with stuff. But yes, that way, you know, okay, makes sense. I mean, I'm sure laundry baskets need to be replaced. There's that. No. Here is one that made me think of you. So this is called a Sephora Favorite Mother's Day perfume sampler gift set. It comes with a voucher that you can redeem for a full-size bottle. So basically, you get it it's a box that has seven different perfumes, and it's not just those little tiny samples, they're like decent-sized samples. And it comes with bottles such as Carolina Herrera, Gucci, Burberry, Mark Jacobs, and a few other ones. And you know, you figure out which one that you really like out of those, and you take a voucher to Sephora or where you know wherever the box came from, and they will give you a full-size bottle of that. I thought that was pretty cool, especially if you are still trying to find your scent or like a new scent for the season. There you go. I mean, they're like brand name uh perfume. So it's not just like random stuff.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

So yes, I love that. I love being able to pick out the scent that I like. So yeah, I think that's great.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Yeah, me too. So yeah, there's the end of our list, and you know, obviously, people have different tastes and uh gifts and you know what they want. If someone says they don't want anything, it's a trap. Please still get them something. So if it's your wife, yes. If your wife tells you, Oh, I don't want anything, don't fall for it.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

Check your text messages because she told you already.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Right? Yeah. Okay. I mean, shoot, you know, you know what I would take, and I just thought about this right now. I would be totally okay if my husband hired a cleaning lady just to like deep clean the whole house. I would be thrilled by that. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

I'm here for that. Don't be afraid to share that with your partner. Share that with your spouse, share that with your boyfriend, your girlfriend. Mother's Day is coming up. Let them know what you want and or need for help. And don't forget to ask for it. Or write it down on a post-it and just stick it on their shoe. On the driver's wallet, coffee mug, the window of their car, wherever. I don't think it's wrong to ask for what you desire. Especially if they're not hitting the mark. And you're and you're grateful, but they may not be hitting the mark. So don't be afraid to ask. There you go. All right. Now, Anicha, let's talk about your mama, real quick.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

Whoa. Slow down.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Talk about your mama.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

My mama? Okay. She's a saint. Okay, but so do you cook like your mom does?

SPEAKER_02 30:40

No, she's better than me. Next question.

unknown 30:42

No.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

I'm saying that's the same.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

She's she definitely, she definitely no, she does. She definitely cooks better than me. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

But do you but do you cook like her though? Like not necessarily flavorful like the same level, but like do you cook the same type of foods? You know, oh, okay. Do you have like the same type vibes, you know, like the menuary? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

This so certain dishes, as far as me saying that she cooks better, or do I cook like her? There are definitely like dessert dishes that she cooks, and I just can't match her profile, her flavor profile. But as far as the menu goes and what I'm preparing for the household, yes and no, my husband is of African descent. So I have picked up one or two dishes from my mother-in-law just to make my hubby feel like he's at home. And outside of that, I do cook more outside of the box than from what I can remember than my mom did. We had, and and maybe that's just my memory too, that I just remember I remember her cooking certain dishes, but I feel that my palate is a little bit more extended than she presented to me as a child. I see what you mean.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Okay. Does that answer your question? It does. Okay. So when you're you and your mom are in the kitchen together cooking. Okay. What is that like? Is there is it a fun time? Is it a scary time for you?

SPEAKER_02 32:14

Honestly, it's amazing. My mother and I in the kitchen is a good time. My mother appreciates that I've taken the lantern. What did they do with the Olympics? They'd be passing the baton. Baton? That's embarrassing. I used to run track. My mother appreciates you wanted to be in the Olympics. And that's why I didn't make it. Because bitch, what? The what? The lantern the lantern in Shelby. Yes, uh. By the 1800s? Why did I say the language don't blow out? I should run. The lantern was crazy. That was crazy. I'm just I'm behind my time. Was I'm born earlier than I should have. Like, what? The lantern is crazy. The baton. My mother has passed me the baton. We actually work really well together in the kitchen. My mother and I. She's very proud of me for taking on the reins of cooking and being happy with cooking. I have a really good relationship when it comes to cooking. I love to cook. You can find me on TikTok if you want to get out there and search. And yeah, so no, there is no spatial situation when we're both in the kitchen together. I'm not kicking her out. She definitely doesn't kick me out. So whenever I go home, I cook the whole time that I'm home. At least 90% of the time. She'll cook a couple of meals that I ask her to cook, that she just does better than me, and I can't figure it out what she's doing. But that keeps me coming home, right? That keeps you going back home. And honestly, I don't want to know all the secrets. I want to have that moment to go home because I know that's mom's cooking.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

But outside of that, whenever I go home to visit, she's cooking, the hubby's eating, the kids are eating. And it's just, it's warm and cozy. So that's that. What about you? Can I ask you? Can I turn that around?

SPEAKER_01 34:12

So I do cook. Well, I do cook a lot. I don't necessarily cook like my mom does. She, you know, coming home, there, you know, she was always making just authentic Mexican food all of the time. And there was a lot of spice and a lot of sauces that went with it, a lot of refried stuff. And now looking back, you know, it's not the healthiest. And I do try to cook on the healthier side, especially for my kiddos. And mind you, they were home-cooked meals, and she was, you know, there, she can cook amazing. So no way, yes. There's no way I'm like putting down what she did. I just, you know, trying to put some new habits into my family. Yes. Um, I don't do as much sauces, and I was at one point. Like everything had like butter or heavy cream or whatever. Um, I try not to do that so much anymore. But I think I'm a good cook. My mom's a really great cook. Um, so but I learned a lot from her. Um, now when we're both in the kitchen, it's another story. Okay. No, and the thing is that she's so much like her mother, my grandma. You know, my my grandma's old school. Like, she don't like canned stuff. Like, you don't do canned tomato sauce when you're around grandma. I call her Yaya. You don't do canned stuff with her. Her her tomato sauce is fresh made. Like, don't you dare. Okay. You know, but I started using canned tomato sauce because my mom showed me how to cook rice with canned tomato sauce. But yeah, so like my mom already like it's like, oh yeah, like when my mom's around, she's gonna tell me, give me crap for you know what I use. And then my mom, she's kind of the same way with me when I'm making something like, oh, well, why don't you do this this way or why don't you do it this way? And like, uh actually I like the way I do it. But thank you. You know, and you kind of get those like, well, just do it because I'm here type things, but nope, I will stand my ground. Um, but I mean it's a good time, but we do have that banter that, you know, well, you know, maybe you should do it this way, and well, maybe you should do this this way, you know, type stuff. But it it is fun, you know. I we made the modest for Christmas Eve. Um, and we did talk about it in one of the episodes. And like that was fun because it wasn't just her and I either. It was like my cousin, my nieces, and you know, we're learning from her and we're all just kind of like together and you know, we're just like talking and having a good time. So I think that's what it's about, just making those memories. So it's might, you know, be a little stressful sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

So both ends of the spectrum. It's chill on my side and maybe a little more stressful on your side, but at the end of the day, it's we're making memories.

SPEAKER_01 36:55

Yes, it's all love. It's all love. Yes, it's all love.

unknown 36:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Is there one thing that you remember about your mother growing up? Yes. So my mother was in the working field, and we would typically get home before she did. My siblings and I would get home and we had chores that we had to do. But whenever my mom came home, it was about business. She was cooking, she took charge, and whatever wasn't getting done, she made sure it was getting done. But she was always in mom mode and out of work mode. So she would come home cooking if dinner wasn't prepared yet. My dad only knew how to make a couple of things: hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were his specialty. But my I was raised in the era of make sure you take this meat out the freezer. And I had to take the meat out the freezer. Those were scary times. I gotta remember to do it. Right. So those were the times that my brothers and I lived in that we had to take the meat out to thaw it out. And it's in it's it's imperative to do that now as an adult, as a parent. Take the meat out. It takes time to thaw out. Now you get it, right?

SPEAKER_01 38:08

I 100% get it. You're messing up dinner if you didn't take the meat out. Right? Hey, a mother's job is never done. It's never done. What about you? One thing uh I do remember about my mother growing up is like walking into the house, no matter what time day it was, honestly, uh, it smelled like food in there. Uh, if she was making salsa, we were choking. We were literally just choking because she would be roasting the chiles, and you could not breathe in that house for like a good 30 minutes. That or she loves to like cook her tortillas like directly on the stovetop to where they get like a nice char and the house smells like burnt tortillas. I mean, she loves them like that, you know. So it always smelled like that, or like some type of free fried beans at the house, just always smelled like the that's something that I always remember about my mom is that they're you know, we were either choking on, you know, inhaling some burnt teas. There's always some type of food aroma in the house. I love it. But that is home. And funny is that when she comes over, sometimes um, like she would bring my son home and I would get home like maybe a half hour later. And there would be times where she would make herself like a avocado taco or whatever. And I come in my house and it smells like freaking burnt throat dia. So I'm like, oh my God. Not her in the kitchen. Her in my kitchen, right? Right. Not up in here. But um, but yeah, it instantly just takes me back to like my childhood and just being at home and just those typical Mexican house smells, I guess you could say. What is one thing that you do that reminds me of your mother? So, you know, there's always that thing like that you think about like, oh great, I'm acting like my mother, you know, like oh, I don't want to be like this, you know, or whatever the case is, it doesn't have to be negative, but just one of those things that you catch yourself like, yep, I'm turning into my mother. All right, so moving on, we are at our sing to me segment. So if you have been following along, you know, it's kind of been a roller coaster these last few episodes with Ainish all of a sudden starting to win, me starting to lose. Like, it's just it's a lot. But, anyways, the way it goes is I will ask Einish a question regarding song lyrics. She needs to get it correctly, but she also needs to sing it back to me. Then she'll ask me a question and I will sing it the correct answer back to her. We're just gonna go back and forth. All right, so Einish, are you ready? Sure. All day, every day. Let's see. Okay, I hope so. Okay. In one minute, man, Missy Elliott says it's been a long time. How long has it been? One minute. Think about it.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

Break me up. Show me what you got, because I don't want one.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

That's all I know.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

It sounds like that's all you know. I don't want a one minute man. I don't know. It's been eight minutes, ten minutes, it's been twelve years, it's been two months, it's been three one month, it's been one month. How long has it been?

SPEAKER_00 41:12

It's been one month.

SPEAKER_01 41:14

I don't know. I don't know. So once again, it says it's been a long time.

SPEAKER_00 41:18

Boy, it's been a long time. Crazy long time.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

Crazy long time. Okay, that's fair.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

And I don't want no many men.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

Okay, so you got me on that one. Who was the second verse dedicated to in Lauren's Hill Lauren Hill's that thing? Who was the second verse dedicated to in Lauren Hill's that thing?

SPEAKER_00 41:40

One with the Tim's and his Tim's and his women. But there's something I'm missing like the front verse part.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Dedicated to the men in his Timbs with and the REMs with his women. Something like that. Dedicated to the men to the men in his Tim's. The second verse dedicated to the men and men and their Tim's.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

That is correct.

SPEAKER_02 42:05

The second verse was dedicated to the men.

SPEAKER_00 42:07

Yay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Oh man, I couldn't I kept thinking when you're when you first said dedicated, I was thinking of there's this oldie song that starts out, This is dedicated to the one I love. And I couldn't get that song stuck out of my head. Yeah, it's like a weird I don't know. The second verse dedicated to Yeah, I don't know. All right, back to you. In One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boys to Men, what do they take for granted?

SPEAKER_02 42:33

I don't know. I can't think of how the song I mean I know the song, but I can't think of how it goes, actually. And that's the problem. I can't think of how the song goes. One sweet day. One sweet one sweet one sweet day. I know it's not it, but it's not. I don't know. Not gonna waste your time. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

Take your presents for granted, but I always can. And I miss the love we share. And I know you smile down on me from heaven.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

Okay, there it is. How to catch the beat. So since Usher and Chris Brown are trending, and they will be trending for a minute. Here's a song from one of Usher's catalogs in Lovers and Friends, featuring Ludacris and Usher. Ludacris states, You're all grown up like who?

SPEAKER_01 43:27

Like Rudy Huxtable.

SPEAKER_00 43:28

How does it go? Tim Friends.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Shoot, I don't know. Y'all like Rudy Huxtable. Dang. You know I'm right. But let's see.

SPEAKER_00 43:35

Sing it to me. And tell me again. Tell me again. Can we be in lovers and friends?

SPEAKER_01 43:45

I can't think of how Ludacris' parts sounds though.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

And I can't I can't give you a full point.

SPEAKER_01 43:51

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

I'm gonna sing to me.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

I know. Like Rudy Huxtable.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

You are grown up now, like Rudy Huxtable. Human lover and friend.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

Wow. I don't like what just happened right now. And I don't like how you're talking to me, actually. I don't like that voice. I sang to you. I sang it to you. That wasn't right, though.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Okay. So the words were correct, but na sing it to me and tell me how it goes.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

Well, I don't know how it goes either. Used to play. Sometimes I want to be your lover. Sometimes wanna be your friend. Sometimes I want to hug you. Whole tents so dance all the break could spans. Open up your heart, cause you said I made you feel so comfortable. Used to play back then, now you're all grown up like Rudy Huxtable. Did you really want me to sing it like that? What a creep. Yes. Ludacris. Ludacris keep this out. So you get a half a point. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Better half a point than no point. Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

I'd give me no point.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

Well, that's it, ladies and gentlemen. I lost again. Okay, one day. And we just gotta throw some good vibes our way, because sweet mother pearl.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

I don't mind. You know, I still show up with a smile on my face.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

Said like a true non-winning person. Okay. All right. So now going back into our Mother's Day portion of the episode, we're gonna talk about the Mother's Day dilemma. So Mother's Day is meant to be celebrated by all mothers. But what happens when there's too many mothers in your circle? So which mothers end up getting celebrated? Who should your husband prioritize? And if you have kids that are grown and have their own children, who should they prioritize? So, Anish, what do you think? Which now, yes, all mothers should be celebrated, but there comes a point where you're choosing between yourself as a mother, your mother, possibly grandmother, then you have your mother-in-law and possibly a grandma on that side as well, maybe like her mother. Who do you think deserves the most celebration?

SPEAKER_02 45:54

I don't feel that there should be a battle between the mothers and a showdown. If you if you play your cards right, do that. Play your cards right. It's easy for me because we live in a different state from both mothers, my mother and my husband's mother. And if we lived in the same state, all of us, if anything, I am planning out separate dates. I'm planning a spa day for mothers every year. So mom and grandma can, you know, mother and daughter, which is mom and grandma, can spend this spa day together. And I can spend time with my wife, and all the mother and mother-in-laws are at a spa day together, for instance. If I were the man, if I were the man, but so because I feel that that would be a great direction to go as opposed to having an argument with my spouse or me having an argument argument with my husband or my boyfriend, my man, my partner, trying to figure that out. Because who wants to figure figure that out? Everyone wants to feel important on that day. But if we make that very clear, communicating, communication is the key. At the end of the day, communication with your partner, your group, your circle, your village is going to make your life so much smoother, but people choose not to communicate. Again, my circumstance is completely, I won't say completely different because I'm sure that some of the listeners out there may not live near their in-laws or their parents. My husband and I are, that's we all we got. Right. So it's easy. Yes, go ahead. Yeah, no, so I'll wrap this up. Ultimately, for me and my household, it's easy because all my husband and my kids have to do is celebrate me because both of our parents live in completely different states. So it's easy peasy. We send our, I send my mom, my mom something and my mother-in-law gifts. We just send them gifts. We're not present, figure it out. We're not good, we're not traveling to you for this day. And it works out. And again, in my head, communicate and figure it out. So you tell me because it's different for you.

SPEAKER_01 48:03

It sure is. It sure is. And I would consider you in this, in this case right here, lucky that you're not being split in so many different directions because everyone's in different directions, literally. However, and this was just brought up not that long ago at a family event about Mother's Day. And like, what are we gonna do? Blah, blah, blah. Um, like, when is it time for us, you know? And I guess we're like the younger moms in the family. Um, like, when is it gonna be time for us to actually really do what we want for Mother's Day? Because we, you know, we're we're still very blessed to have our mothers, and it's wonderful. But it's like, yes, I want to make you feel special, but I also want to feel special. And then, like in my case, my mom still has her mom. This year, Mother's Day falls on American Mother's Day. So usually we could split it up that way, you know, like it makes it a little bit easier. But in this case, it's literally just all one freaking day. And I know my mom wants to spend time with her mom. And at one point, my mom had made a comment about, oh, I want to do something at my house for Mother's Day. And I was like, oh, okay. Because I mean, would I be there? Yes, I would. I would not let my mom down and I wouldn't let my grandma down. But is that something I want to do for my Mother's Day? No. So I was brought up um by one of my cousins about like, yes, you can celebrate your your mom maybe on a different day, but if you're actively mothering, you, you know, you have the littles, you know, you're you're actively there. You should be able to not feel guilty about trying to please your mother or your mother-in-law or whomever else um might be in the picture, uh, because you're the mother right now. And it made sense. And I also watched a TikTok earlier today where there was a mother who her children were a little were older, and she's like, you know, that this is life. Like your children are supposed to grow up, they're supposed to leave the home, they're supposed to make families of their own. She's like, Does it hurt me that I don't get them every single day or every holiday? Yes. But it also makes me happy for them. She's like, I have a daughter, she has her kids, or she has a kid, I think. Um, I want her to celebrate her mother's day. I don't want her worried about me. Like, you don't have to worry about getting me anything. Had you, you, I was your priority for about 18 years. Okay. Now you have your own child. I'm no longer your priority. The mother's saying, for as many years as you were my child, a young child, you know, up until maybe you had your own children, you prioritized me for Mother's Day. I was at the top of your list. But now you're a mother. I don't need to be on the top of your list anymore. You are at the top of your list. You do what you want for Mother's Day. You celebrate the way you want to. Do I want a phone call at least? Yes. Don't forget to call me. Do you need to send me something or give me a present? No. Is it nice? Yes. But no, like I'm no longer your priority. I there were so many years where we celebrated Mother's Day together, but now you're the mom and I'm happy for you. I want you to celebrate Mother's Day your way. And I was like, that's so nice to hear because sometimes it can get kind of overwhelming when, and I'll I'll just, you know, put myself, you know, out there. For me, it can be overwhelming at times because I, you know, and I am selfish. Like I said earlier, I'm a brat. It's a Mother's Day. I am actively mothering. I want to do what I want to do. And yes, do I want to spend time with mom? My mom? Yes, but maybe not on actual Mother's Day. Because then how do I relax and do all these other things? Unless she does it with me, and that's fine. But if that's not what she wants to do, like I I just do, I just want to do what I want to do on my day. Okay. And then yes, that might sound selfish and no bratty, but it is what it is. But then there's the other dilemma about your husband. Who does your husband prioritize? Because if they still have their mother, and some moms, some older mothers can be very, what's the word I'm looking for? Very attached still to their boys. And they have these big grown mama's boys over here and make you feel like, well, I'm your mother. You should be with me. Like she didn't birth you. You're right. Thank God for that. That would be gross. But they are the mother of his children. Like he is a father because of her, you know, because of their relationship. She should be a priority. His wife, his partner, that's the priority, not the mom. You leave your parents. That is, it's in the Bible and it's just common knowledge. You leave your parents and you go with your spouse. You have your family and you are one. So, so your mother, yes, you can call her, wish her happy Mother's Day, spend some time with her, but she is no longer your priority. Then if your kids are grown and have their own children, like kind of just like I how I mentioned about that lady, they should prioritize their own Mother's Day and their children, their family. They're not prioritizing anyone else. And I think that that's something that we all need to kind of come to a consensus to as women. That way we can actually appreciate Mother's Day and not be stressed out about who am I gonna spend it with, who's gonna be upset, who's not gonna be upset. Like, no, it's fine. Celebrate the way you want to. Then we move on to another question. Do pregnant women celebrate Mother's Day? I'm gonna make it real clear for everyone. Yes. Okay. Yes. So if you are a father to be, okay, that means that that baby is still in the womb and it is a Mother's Day. It is that second Sunday in May. I don't care who told you what, just because you don't see the baby on the outside, there's a baby in there. She is taking care of that baby. She is putting her body and life on the line for your baby, for her baby. She is a mother. You give her a gift, you pamper her. She might not be able to have mimosas, but she could still get her freaking feet rubbed.

SPEAKER_02 54:03

Okay. Yes, absolutely celebrate a mom to be. If she's pregnant, I don't care if you found out three days before Mother's Day. Celebrate her. Uplift her. Like Sil said, there's so much that our bodies go through during pregnancy. And just to create that little positive test that you see on the line, you see that positive line is a lot of work. The body is working hard and it's gonna be working hard for so many months to come after that. So celebrate your partner at any time once they get that positive pregnancy test and embrace it. It's a fun time.

SPEAKER_01 54:46

It is, yes. So please make sure that you don't let that pass by just because there's not a baby out here for you to hold. There is a baby in there. Make her feel special, give her a glimpse of what is to come.

SPEAKER_03 54:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 54:58

Celebrate her. Yep. All right, poris, that is the end of our segment. But before we go, I do want to thank all of the mothers out there, all the mothers who or all the women who dedicate their lives to children or bonus children. You are seen, you were special, and you all deserve to be celebrated. Thank you for all of your dedication that you put into these little ones out here. Believe me, it does not go unnoticed.

SPEAKER_02 55:28

And to all the women that lost their mothers, you have adopted children and you've taken that extra step to become a mother. We see you and we appreciate you. And know that your littles appreciate appreciate you and your mothers are looking down on you with a smile on their face.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

Remember that you are special in your own rights. Do something that'll make you happy, even if it's going to the movies, buying yourself a little something, or even having a conversation about the ones that you've lost. Keeping them in your memory, keeping their memory alive will help you get through the day. We see you and we love you. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

So thank you again for tuning in to another episode of Pouring in Parenting.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

Where sip happens and we pour about it.