SPEAKER_01 0:03

Grab your glass and pull up a chair. It's time for your favorite girls night in.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to Pouring and Parenting, where your besties, Sill and Ainish.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

We're here to laugh through the chaos. Hello, Poors. Let's start the show. Hey, hey, hey! Welcome back to another episode of Pouring and Parenting. It's your girl Einish. And I'm Sil. And today, per usual, we have another fun episode for you all. So thank you for tuning in and clicking that button. If you're not following us already, please make sure to follow us on whatever you're streaming us on right now and on all of our social media platforms. Sil, how are you doing today?

SPEAKER_00 0:42

I am doing great. I'm surviving this summer with the kids. It's been pretty hot. Got myself an ugly little tan that I need to work on now. Other than that, just living it up the best I can. What about you?

SPEAKER_01 0:58

The same, surviving, the weather. There's so much going on. And I'm just gonna end it on that note because I don't want to stress myself out, hearing the words in my ears out loud. But all in all, life is well. I'll keep it short and sweet. I need somebody's hacks is the episode that you clicked on today, which tells us that you are looking for help. You are struggling, you are fighting, and we are here to help you. We have so many fun hacks that we are gonna share with you all. So hang tight, stay tuned. But before we jump into the episode, Sil, what did you pour today?

SPEAKER_00 1:36

So today I poured myself a very refreshing watermelon vodgarita, and I added some thaien to my glass. I did put it around the rim. I was a little lazy, so I just put it in the actual drink itself. But hey, it does doing what it needs to do. I do that all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Well, I poured after I cracked open my white claw, I poured it into my glass. Okay. So I just have a tangerine-flavored white claw. So cheers. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, before we get into the meat of the episode today, we have some hot topics that we are going to breeze over with you all. So let's get into it. The first hot topic that we'll be discussing sociological studies tracking family dynamics show that it takes an average of three full years after a major life transition, like getting married or having a new baby, for a household to finally settle into a smooth, predictable routine. Until then, families operate in a state of constant micro adjustments. I I feel in the gray area with this one because I agree with it. Only because I'm not tracking when life got together, but if there is it together, is it even still together right now? So that's more of the gray area. But I can lean more into agreeing with this study because just breaking it down logically. The first year you're in the trenches, for instance, with a new baby. You're fighting for your life. If especially if it's your first baby, second baby, or even thereafter. The second year, you got it together for the most part, or you're really accepting crap. I have a baby and I survived the first year. And then the third year, maybe you have it figured out. It seems kind of I feel like you never really have it figured out.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Because even with kids, they're constantly changing. You go from the baby phase to the toddler phase, from the toddler phase to like just like the kid phase. And then they become preteens and teens. And like there's always some phase that's changing. You're so it's just, I feel like it's just always constant micro adjustments because things are constantly changing. They don't stay the same. At least that's how I feel for my household.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

No, I I believe that's very true because yeah, with the different stages that your children are are moving into, and even you, even the dynamic in with your partner, if there's a partner involved. There's just so many different factors that can happen within the this three-year mark that they they so so graciously placed that a lot can definitely happen. So that's what I feel about that.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Yeah. Can you go from like toddler to then when they start school too, like that, and then summer break and all the other breaks, you're constantly adjusting. Like, so I don't know about this one.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Heard. I agree. You got the next one?

SPEAKER_00 4:38

10 yes, ma'am, rule. Wait, 10, 10, 10 rule is a classic proven decision-making framework invented by business journalist Susie Welch. The 1010-10 rule is a psychological tool designed to short circuit decision fatigue and anxiety by forcing your brain to look at a current stressful situation through three distinct lenses. When a crisis hits or when you're about to lose your cool, you ask yourself, how will I feel about this in 10 minutes? How will I feel about this in 10 months? How will I feel about this in 10 years? I mean, I've never done this in my entire life. And I am totally someone who gets anxiety. But well, I guess when it comes to decision making, yeah, no, I'm more of a now person. So maybe 10 minutes, you know, at the very most 10 months. 10 years. I mean, I guess if it's a big decision like buying a house, but I mean, other than that, that's really it for me. What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

I would love to have a talk with Susie Welch to see where she came up with these numbers. But it almost seems, that almost seems like more anxiety to think that far ahead in 10 years. It's I I can see the potential benefit if you can really hone in on calming yourself and finding your center and trying to not lose your cool. And my favorite saying is take a beat and step back and look at the situation before you get to that elevated point. How will I feel about this in 10 minutes? You spilt the milk for the fifth time today after I told you to put the cup in the refrigerator and you didn't do it. So I step back and hey, I'm gonna forget that you even had milk come six o'clock tonight and it's 10 in the morning. So I guess if you really have a lot of anxiety or you really your gears get grinded and maybe you're out of ideas, why not try it? It doesn't hurt to try it. So I see.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I yeah, another trend I'm not really excited about just because it just like, yeah, like why isn't like five? How about this in five minutes, five months, five years, ten years? Like, I don't know. Not a fan. Not a fan for sill.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Okay. This this last topic that we will be discussing is psychological research shows that the average adult makes about 35,000 decisions every single day. Scientists have found that our brains have a literal energy budget for making choices. By the time late afternoon hits, decision fatigue sets in, causing our willpower to drop and our stress levels to spike. 35,000 decisions is a lot. But my first thought goes to what exactly are they considering decisions? I scratched my nose or didn't, I chose not to scratch my nose, or is that an impulse? Because 30, that's a lot of this 35,000 is crazy. It's not saying that I don't believe these, not that I don't say believe the research, but who sat there and counted? Did they watch them for time? I have so many questions about how they came up with this.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

I think it's a bunch of little decisions that you make, whether they're impulse or like something you actually have to think about. For example, like when you get up in the morning, oh, do I really want to get up right now? Are you gonna make the decision to snooze or get up? Um, brushing your teeth. Am I gonna brush my teeth now or a little bit later? Do I need to use restroom now or a little bit later? You know, am I gonna go to work today? Am I getting a cough? What am I gonna wear today? You know, I I can make about a hundred decisions just on that alone every morning. Um, am I gonna put on makeup? What am I gonna do? Don't put all my contacts today. Like I that's already so many decisions to make. So I I agree, but that is the average. This to me, yes, I feel it. Based on my job and even previous jobs that have been very like you have to make all these crazy decisions in split seconds. Oh yeah, definitely. Like that that makes sense. So yeah, where you're late afternoon, you're just done. Like you're over it, you know, you're feeling a little more stressed out now, like you're just you need to pick me up. I get that. So yeah, that's I feel that that's true for sure.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yes, especially that last part with the the stress levels are spiking, and that's definitely a segue into the topic of today's episode is how do we find those little hacks to have the energy to keep going throughout the day and to not take out our frustrations or our stress levels onto our partners because we just made about 30,000 decisions and now you're asking me to make 5,000 more and I just got off of work. So that makes sense with how when people get home, you're exhausted, you're tired, you're mentally drained. A lot of people say I'm mentally drained, I don't have the mental energy to exert any. I can't, I have nothing left to give today. So those are the hot topics for today. Let us know if any of them resonated with you or you want to maybe try some out because those are some new ones for sure. Definitely some new hot topics, some new trends. But let's jump into the meat of today's episode. We are here to hopefully take a little stress off of your shoulders. If you have been looking for some help, some hacks, how do I maneuver what I'm doing a little better or different, switch up some things? This is the episode for you. So listen in and hopefully we touch base on something that's been grinding your gears. Okay, I love that saying. I know me too. Okay, we're talking about how to deal with the kids and how to make your life just a little easier when you're dealing with those little munchkins running around you all day, working that 35,000 thought process that you got going on. So the blame the clock alarm hack. Instead of you telling your child time is up, you delegate the authority to an audible or visual cue. I do this in the house. I have a lot of alarms that go off. We have a lot of devices. I won't say her name because she's always listening, but you all know what her name is. I have the alarm set for bedtime. Honestly, it's like my third arm. It helps me because I could be running behind time, I could be focusing on something else and lose track of time, and then boom, it goes off. 30 minutes before bed, the whole house hears it, the kids know and they know what's up. Cool, it's time to start winding down. And then when it's time to go to bed, okay, it's time to go to bed. And that buffer isn't actually the kid, you know, hey, between you and me, don't tell the kids, it's not really time for bed, but that last alarm lets me know, okay, they got 15 minutes and we're gonna start doing what we need to do. And I love it. I think it's a really great hack. I use it for pickup and it just it helps. It it really helps. That's just one less thing that I have to think about is setting that alarm. Still, how do you feel about this?

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Blame the clock. I love to blame the clock. Um, I use that at home and I use it at work, and it's it definitely takes you away from being the bad guy. I know it's blame, you know, for sure. Blame the clock. This is how much time you had, alarms going off, time to clean up, time to start doing homework, time, you know, whatever the case may be. Um, no, I I think it's it's necessary. And there are a lot of kids out there who need that structure. They need to hear it, they need an organization and a system. Yes, um, and it's something to be consistent, that would be really useful for them. Kids with special needs, autism, yeah, they definitely appreciate the use of an alarm.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Yes. And real quick, just to add to that, so having your child help you set the alarm so they're aware. Maybe they can pick their own tune out. And so when they hear the song and they know that's my song and make a game out of it. They think it's fun, it's time to go to bed. You're like, yeah, it's time to go to bed. But involve your child in it so it's not a big secret and a or a surprise when it goes off. Have them there with you, have them press the buttons. If you're not into tech stuff in your house because they're always listening, use your phone, use a regular alarm clock that you may have in the house. But like Phil said, I think this is a really great hat, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Yeah. I think something comparable would be, for example, um, when kids play outside and I do this with my son, you need to be in by the time the streetlights come on.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Streetlights are on, you know you need to be home. So, you know, he doesn't he doesn't have a phone, he doesn't have a watch, but he knows that when those streetlights come on, it's time to come inside. So something pretty similar, comparable, I guess you could say.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Love it.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

All right, then we have the independent play hackage. Um, we're gonna talk about toy rotation and the busy bin method. They're both pretty similar, but just hear me out. So the toy rotation system is a parenting method where only a small curated selection of toys is available for your child to play with at any given time, while the rest are stored out of sight. Every few weeks, the toys on the shelves are swapped out with the stored ones. So I like that, especially if your kid gets um bored easily or they just want something new all the time. They'll feel like they're getting something new. Um, it'll feel more of like they're they're playing with something new something they haven't used in a while. Um, so it'll be fun, keeps them excited to play with them again. But then you have the busy bin method, also known as quiet boxes or activity boxes. And it's a parenting and teaching strategy where you will fill small plastic bins with curated independent activities that are hidden away and only brought out at specific times. So it's kind of similar to the toy rotation, except for this, they're they're created for them to be independent activities. So something that they could do on their own without the need of a parent or teacher who were whomever helping them out. So you might want to use this maybe if you're trying to cook and you need them out of your kitchen, if you need some alone time, you know, you just want to get some reading done, whatever the case might be, this might be when you use the busy bin method. Now, once again, you're not using it all the time because then it's not gonna be fun for them. You want it to be something we're like, oh, I haven't played this in a long time. Let me let me take advantage now because I know it's gonna go away. Same thing with the toy rotation thing. You might find them more interested in playing with their toys because they know they're not gonna be around for a while. So I like both of them. Um, I know my daughter, um, when she was doing speech therapy, they had like kind of like a busy no, I guess it was like a cross between the busybend method and the toy rotation. So the therapist, um, he would leave the bag of toys here, but she was only allowed to use them on the days that he would come to do therapy with her. So she would be really excited because she knew there was some really fun things in there, and that helped with her being more engaged in her lesson, but also because she knew I'm only gonna get these for an hour once or twice a week, and then that's it. So it it definitely keeps them engaged in the activities and the toys.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Yes, that sounds like toy rotation. So I like that. And real quick, just to add to the busy bin method, if you're wondering what to put in the busy bin, like Sil said, it's they're gonna be doing it solo. So making sure that they can do independent play. Coloring books, whatever their age range is gonna allow them. Nothing too messy because you're not gonna, or you could be in the same room drinking your cup of coffee. But if you're cooking dinner and they're in the living room, you don't want them painting and then they paint it all over the walls. So coloring books or jewelry, they can make this jewelry with the beads and the strings. So play-doh, if you allow play-doh in your living room, if you have hardwood floors, Legos, things that they can independently do and keep them busy and active. So I I love both of those as well. I think those are really great parenting hacks just to help the parents get some, even if it's 20 minutes or 30 minutes, whatever it takes, to just refill, even if it's even if it's just a little bit in your cup, but you can start the refilling process in that moment. So those were our two parenting hacks that we just discussed. And we are going to be jumping into our marriage hacks and how to keep the marriage alive. So let's talk about the vibe check rule. This is something that you're gonna have to communicate with your partner, and we're talking perhaps creating a phrase or something. So the communication is a shortcut that perhaps when you or your partner walks in through the house and they're feeling a certain way, maybe a code word can be curated to determine where you two are at as far as stress goes. Now, hear me out. If you're a stay-at-home mom, if you're a sham and you're like, girl, I'm not gonna, I don't care how his day's been, he's been outside without the kids all day. Have that discussion with your husband and perhaps text before he gets home. I'm a sham. And I in the the first year with my firstborn, I was in the trenches. I felt a lot. And probably almost every day I felt that I needed a break because we're we're just all trying to figure it out. And as obviously the years went on and he grew up, I figured it out, I got it together, and less and less did I feel overwhelmed in stress. With our second born, I felt more in control. And are there times that I feel stress? Absolutely. But very rarely, honestly, I can't really remember the last time I felt stressed. But for the parents out there, and you're trying to figure out how do I help or how does my husband help me, how can I get him to understand how I'm feeling? When he gets home, he wants to do this. Oh, I just got off work. Set up a text message, set up some type of communication and hey, I'll text you an hour before you get home that I've been dealing a lot with the kids and I'm gonna need 10 minutes when you get home to deal with the kids or 30 minutes, whatever you feel that you need for that day, have that discussion with your partner. Now, if you both work outside of the home, have that discussion as well. I get home before you do, I'm with the kids and tag team. The biggest thing in relationships, be it marriage, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever the case is, is communicating with your partner. And if you feel like everything's on your shoulders and you're not expressing yourself, that's gonna build up. That's adding to all the thoughts in your head that we talked about in our hot topic. And that's not gonna help anyone. Having that open line of communication and saying, I need a beat. Today was really rough for me. And even if your partner had a rough day at work and you were at home with the kids, respect that time for them, but make sure there's a time cap on it. You can't do, oh, I had a bad day, and he just goes and locks himself out. Yeah, and he's doing it for the day. But make sure that you have a time cap on it. 10 minutes, I think, is great. I I would honestly say like 20 minutes max, because I don't think that'd be fair for the other person, but just to be able to regroup and really center your mind. It's a good hack to do with especially when it comes to your mental and if you have a partner that's willing to be open to make that happen. Right.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

And I I think that communication aspect is probably the biggest part. You do have to communicate that. I personally don't use a phrase or code. I will be straight up with my husband and be like, hey, I had a rough day. Like, I just need some time alone. And he knows what that means. It's like that's me going into my room, closing the door, and just hanging out in there, taking a nap, whatever the case may be. And also just communicating in general. So, just really quick, we are micro adjusting again because I am on summer break. So he is used to me being out of the house the majority of the day, Monday through Friday. Now I'm home every day. And so that's adjust an adjustment for me, but it's also an adjustment for him. And so I'm doing something and he's used to things being done a certain way at a certain time. And so he's just like, wait, you know what? We we need to communicate a little bit better because now I'm throwing him off because he's not used to me being here. So making sure you're communicating is for sure a key here because you never know who or when you're gonna be microadjusting and you all want to be on the same page.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Yes. And again, this is the vibe check rule. So you want to know the vibe of the person that you're living with and where are they at? Like how are you feeling? So keep that in mind. Communicate with the person that you live with or don't live with, even if you're co-parenting. Check their vibe so you two are on the same page. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

All right. And our next hack is the logistics automation. So the tech divide. So, how do you keep from nagging each other about who is buying milk or picking up dry cleaning? Talk about sharing a digital calendar, a synced notes app for groceries, or a designated weekly logistics text thread so your actual conversations can stay romantic and fun. Um, so the what we do is I typically will take care of the groceries. I let him know when I'm gonna go shopping and I ask him, what do we need? For the most part, it's just a text, and then I will usually do like my Sam's Club order. So it's there. And I tell him, all right, you have about like an hour or so to add anything because luckily we do have that grace period now, which I love. But then I also have, I don't have a digital calendar necessarily for our home life type stuff, but we do have a calendar that I update every month and I put all of the events for the month on there. He'll add things as needed. And so anytime we don't know, or at least for him, he typically will not make plans without like checking with me first. Like in a way, he kind of doesn't have to check because the calendar is there. So you should know whether we have something going on or not. There's no surprises for the most part. Either communication on the calendar, um, or it's just been divided to where we both have a mutual understanding of who does what. What about you, Anish? How do you guys get all that taken care of?

SPEAKER_01 22:51

I like that's a good hack. I think everything about the digital calendar and sharing the calendar is a great, great, great hack. I know couples that share calendars, digital calendars. I know you said you don't have a digital calendar, but I do know couples that share that. Now, sometimes that can go away because they don't look, they don't check the calendar, but I think if both parties are utilizing it accordingly, it would work pretty beautifully. We use a good old whiteboard on the refrigerator. Sil, you got us the gift. And I try I put a weekly. Everybody in the house knows what's going on. Birthday parties, events, outings, it's all on the weekly calendar. I erase it every Sunday. And groceries, there's a notes part on there. I write the groceries on there. My husband typically does the grocery shopping. He's getting better, ladies. I know some ladies are grasping their pearls, but he's gotten he's gotten a lot better with the grocery shopping. It took a minute, but ladies, have faith. Have faith. But that's how we, that's pretty much how we communicate. And it's it's it's been working. No one has questions of dentist appointments and doctor's appointments, they all go on the they all go on the board. And even our son knows when he has an appointment. He knows when everybody has an appointment if it's on the board. He checks it faithfully every week. And if I don't erase it on Sunday and he's it's there Monday, he's oh, he didn't change the board. So, but I think that's a great hack. So if you're not already utilizing that open line of again, communication. That is a hack. Communicating with your partner. Communicate, talk to your partner. You got married, you two linked up, you coupled up, and for a reason, communication definitely helps. It goes a long way. There are no, there is no guesses, there are there are no gray areas, and it it helps. It makes things run smoothly. So don't be afraid to communicate with your children. Don't be afraid to communicate with your partner and stay connected. I think the last thing Silly said was having romantic conversations. So I think making sure that you have a designated space for that will also help. So you're not just talking about or you're not nagging because that's the biggest, that's the first thing a man, oh, she nags, nags, nag. I gotta do this, I gotta do that, I gotta take out the trash, I gotta do this. I write trash day on the board as well. Trash day is on the board. Every single week I rewrite it, it's and it's there, and the trash is taken out. Sometimes he won't look at the board and the trash isn't taken out, and I might lose my poop. But for the most part, the trash gets taken out. And but that's just one less thing that I have to nag to him about. I don't have to verbally say that to him. He doesn't have to hear my voice to say, Did you take out the trash? It's on the board. It's a silent, it's silently communicating, and now we could talk about other stuff. What do you want to watch tonight? What do you want to eat for dinner? We could talk about happy things. So keep that in mind. That is a good hack.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

If you're not doing it, try it out. Yeah, you know, I just want to add, I love what you said about your son. So your son also stays in the loop. He knows what's going on. Same thing with my kid. He'll look at the calendar and and like ours is you know for the whole month. So the only thing that backfires is that he, if he sees an empty weekend, he's trying to fill it up. He's like, oh, well, we don't have plans to say, can you can my cousins come over? Can we go here? Can we go down? Like, whoa, I saw that empty slot and was like, yes, a weekend to actually relax. So, but it it's nice that he can look at it, you know, it's right there visible for everyone to see. And he also knows what's going on within his um own household.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Yes. So keep keep everyone in the loop, ladies and gentlemen, and and keep the lines of communication open.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

So now we're gonna move on to our sing to me segment. So if you have been listening, you know how this goes. But if you have not, basically what it is is I will ask Anish a question based on some song lyrics, and she is to not only answer the question correctly, hopefully, but to sing it back to me. And then she'll ask me a question, same rules apply, and we'll go back and forth for two rounds. All right, so let's go ahead and get started. All right, so Anish In Damaged by Danity Kane. What do they want to know?

SPEAKER_01 27:03

No clue. No? You don't know the song? I'm sure I do, but I haven't I can't remember last time I heard a Danity Kane song.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Oh my gosh, they were trending for a while, especially with the whole duty thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Not saying I was not a fan, but that's another group that's not in my rotation. Not because I don't like them, just I forgot about them.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Danity Kane, I can't even believe it. The only song I could be. How are they not I could think of is.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

The only song I could think. We in the club. We at the uh That's the only song I know. I mean, I barely know that. Well, I realized. Yeah.

unknown 27:42

Thank god.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

That's the only song that I could think of. If someone was like sing the audience song, it would have been that song. Jangling the keys with with young jock.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

That is it. Nope. Have no idea. Probably the last time I heard that song was the last time they probably played it on the radio.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Well, they wanna know how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it, baby. I gotta know. How you gonna fix it? Fix it, fix it. Yeah, that was it.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Nope. Absolutely not. All right. I feel damaged. And Drew Hills, how deep is your love for me? What does he keep telling you? What does he keep telling you? Fun way to ask me. That's a fun way to ask.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

How deep is your love for me? Tell me what is gonna be. I feel like I should sing this for karaoke.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

That'll get the crowd up.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

No, I don't think how deep is your love for me? No, no.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

No. Dang it. I'm gonna start the countdown. Five.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Oh, you're feeling threatened. I see I'm getting close.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Tell me what is gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

I feel like I'm gonna be so annoyed when you answer it.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

Okay, so the question was what was the question? And Drew Hills, how deep is your love for me? What does he keep telling you?

SPEAKER_00 29:05

He keeps telling you he's better than me, but I bet you sometimes say he makes a no. Wait, wait. He's better than me. Yeah, he keeps telling me that he's better than me. Oh dang it, bitch. How the how do you imagine the Yes?

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Yeah. You had a half a point. It was over.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Did I sing that part earlier?

SPEAKER_01 29:25

You did. You did. You breezed over it. You breezed over it.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

Dang it. You could've been like, all right, you're getting hot. You're burning. You're burning.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Your loins are burning. So yes, so the answer was he keeps telling you he's better than me. But I bet he keeps telling you you're better than me. You know that he. Yeah. You know that he ain't no free like me.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Um Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

All right. What type of limousine does 112 trying to want to get freaky in? And peaches and cream. Bentley.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

Get it freaky in my Bentley limousine. It's even better. When it's with ice cream.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

Dang, you got it. I don't know. I saw the lyrics. I'm like, what do I typically say? Because I know I don't say Bentley.

SPEAKER_01 30:15

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

Because it looked pretty.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

Freaking peaches.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

I don't know. Bentley don't sound like something I've said.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

I really love 112. I had no business. We had no I know I didn't have any business. I know you had no business listening to 112.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

And their lyrics. They had their whole album that I don't know how many they had, but the one that Peaches and Cream is on is the one I had.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Yes, that's when they were in all black with the 112. Yeah. Mm-hmm. On it. I think my brother, my brother used to buy me an album every year for my birthday.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Let us move on. I was on a soccer team called Peaches and Cream.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

That's unfortunately. That's wild. Was that before or after the song? I'm pretty sure it was after the song. Nah, we're gonna have to do some investigating on the coach. And the whole everything about that. That's nothing right about that at all. In Adele's someone like you, she couldn't do what? She couldn't do what? Alright, let's see.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

I know I know a throat clear when I hate to turn up, but I'll uninfight it, but I couldn't stay away. I couldn't fight it, but there it is. I hope to see my face and that you'd be reminded of me. It is no couldn't stay away.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

I couldn't fight it. Those are the lyrics, ladies and gentlemen. Well played. What a sing to me challenge we had today. We hope you enjoyed that mid-show break. We're gonna jump back into the show. We have one more segment that we're gonna discuss, and we're talking household and lifestyle shortcuts. So if you're still tuning in, hold on to your butts because we have a couple of hacks for you to tap into if you're not already doing it. The first hack is the hate to cook food hack. A lot of people hate to cook. So I am not one of those people. I know a good cooked meal at home. I love cooking too, but there are so many people that do not like to cook, they don't have time to cook, or they don't know how to cook. Meal planning shortcuts for busy moms or for all the other list of reasons that we just mentioned or that I just mentioned. So having a dedicated theme night every week, like Taco Tuesday, so you don't have to think, or doubling every dinner recipe on Monday so Tuesday is an automatic left overnight. I truly feel this is a great hack. This can save time. This can save time so you can have more time to do other things in the house. So you're not slaving in the kitchen or you're not racking your brain. And again, adding to those 35,000 thoughts, that's gonna sit with me for a minute because you're, oh, I'm gonna cook this. No, I'm not gonna cook this, I'm gonna cook that. And you're going back and forth. Do I have this in the house? What's in the refrigerator? I'm not even at home to know what's in the refrigerator. Or I want to cook this, but I'm missing an ingredient. So now you have to think of another substitution or whatever. And a 30-minute meal turns into a two-hour meal. Where is Rachel Ray when you need her? If you don't know who Rachel Ray is, look her up. She's the 30-minute meal queen. But all in all, meal prepping or meal planning, excuse me, meal planning for the week, I think is a really great idea. If you struggle with trying to figure out what to cook, I know a couple of moms out there that legitimately do not like to cook. And I know there are definitely options out there where you can purchase your meals monthly and get it delivered to your home. If you have the finances for that, then by all means tap into that space. But if you do not have the finances for that, create a meal plan. Mondays, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, do it every Sunday. Switch it up a little bit. Or if your whole family loves a good taco or they love spaghetti or whatever you know everyone in the house is going to eat, make that once a week. Make that every other week. If it's gonna help you maintain your sanity, do what you got to do, especially if that's your task in the house. If you're the one that cooks or split it with your partner, but make it to where that it is a hack and it's not a burden. If you're if you're feeling like it's a burden right now, flip it and make it work for you. Don't feel like you're working in the in the kitchen and that's your eighth job as a chef because you're, oh, what do I cook up for the family today? And then the doubling up to lasagna, spaghetti, Italian meals are definitely all about sharing their food. There's so many different cultures out there that you can make just so much of it. And that's all they're about is sharing their food. And those are things you can even pre-make a lasagna and freeze it and have it for a rainy day. So if you are not already tapping into this hack, and it almost sounds too in your face, but the amount of people that don't cook and they eat out all the time because they feel it's more convenient. Imagine all the money that you can save a month, a year, a week, whatever the case is. If you This is healthier overall, too. It's healthier for the whole family. So this is a, I feel a great hack that deserves tapping into. And do it. Try it out, try it out for a month, try it out for a week. And I'm pretty sure the family will appreciate your cooking. It may take a while. If you eat out a lot, the family may this one tastes like McDonald's or whatever your family your family taps into, but push it. Stay true to yourself, stay true to keeping your sanity and and making just making the food at home. But again, make a list. Make a list every first of the month if you want to do a month's worth or every Sunday or Monday, whatever works best for you. So try to tap into that hat. I like it. Do it. Still and I like to cook.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

So yeah. And you know, I I have those times of year where I'm home in the evenings more often and I can actually cook like a decent meal every night. But then when it's that busy season where there's practices multiple times a week, or you know, whatever the case may be, crock pot you can't go wrong with. Make sure you have some roasts in your freezer. You just put them in the crock pot. Instant pot, same thing. Well, actually, with a crock pot, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be thought out. With the instant pot, though, it does not need to be thought out. You can cook it from frozen, it'll take slightly longer, but still pretty convenient. Um, or even just one of those days when you forget to take meat out, or the kids forget to take the meat out and you get home and you still have a frozen chicken. The instant pot is great for that. Pinterest has a lot of great recipes. There's a lot of apps where you can find really good recipes um for like quick, quick beef. But even like I did this for a while was I would buy my groceries based on what I was gonna make that week. So I knew, okay, you know, Monday we'll have fish, Tuesday we'll have roast, and then Wednesday I'm gonna use half of that roast and make it into like shredded beef tacos, you know, stuff like that. That way I knew exactly what to get at my groceries for that week. And sometimes doing it for too many weeks, it's too much and you don't want your food to spoil like uh vegetables or fruit or anything like that. But even just for the week, do something like that, or even having that dedicated theme night or knowing, okay, I'm gonna cook Monday through Thursday, Friday, or Friday in the weekend, and we'll go out to eat for dinner or whatever the case may be. Um, and then honestly though, like if you're having one of those days where like it's just it's just too much, there is nothing wrong with the kids just having some snacks or whatever the case may be, as long as they're they go to sleep with a full tummy. Sometimes just take it as it is, or make some pancakes if that's what they want. Sometimes it's gonna be like that, and that's okay too. Yes. So get yourself some grace.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Yes, chicken nuggets and fries, if that's what you have to make for dinner and do it. So yeah, I mean I agree.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

And ask your friends get from McDonald's.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

Yes. And and also ask your friends for recipe ideas, do some recipe swaps too, as another outlet.

SPEAKER_00 38:06

All right, our next hack is the toddler travel or leaving the house to do the print. So your holy grail of tips for getting out of the door without a meltdown or surviving a road trip or a flight. So, for example, the car diaper chain station or keeping an emergency stash of snacks, toys hidden in the truck, and that the kids only see when things go wrong. Yes, the car diaper station is a lifesaver for sure. I can't tell you how many times I have left the house and forgot to either refill the bag, forgot the bag in its entirety, even if all I had in my little, you know, it was like something really small, compact, where you open it up and there's like wipes on one side and like one or two diapers on the other side, and in the middle is like the little changing area. That that death building has saved me a couple of times. I I've never kept snacks in the car. I just I don't like the idea of doing that necessarily. But toys for sure, I keep them, and they're not even hidden in the trunk, they're just all over the damn place in the car. But like for the baby, I make sure she has uh that she always has a baby in the car. She loves to hold her babies when we're driving. My son, he needs a pillow uh because he will knock out in the car. So as long as he has a and it's like a small pillow, not like a huge bed pillow. A little pillow, he is good. So so that that's what we do, you know, to keep everything pretty peaceful, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Yes. What about you, Anish? That's funny. You mentioned a doll. My son, he wants a basketball is his comfort. He needs. So we have at least four basketballs, his hand size that he'll he wants to hold, or it needs to be in his visual aid. But this is a great hack. My we travel a lot, and the snack thing is definitely a touch and go. Depending on where you live at and your weather, if it's too hot, you got melted, whatever, in the car. You don't know what it can do. Spoiled. Oh, and we got time for that. But maybe in the cooler, cool weather, you can keep crackers or some type of snack in the car. Read the read the fine print on the wrapper, because I know it says how to keep it stored, but keeping diapers in the car, extra clothes, jackets, just whatever you need. You never know how your day is gonna end or your night's gonna end. You may have one plan and then something else happens. You get a call from a friend and hey, come over, girl. I've been there before and and didn't have something. Luckily, where we were going, they had what we needed, but definitely a hack. Keeping what you can that's non-perishable in the car and ready and reven to go, keeping the kids happy. Like Syl said, she has a pillow and the doll. I have you know, basketballs. I have all these sports sports equipment. I didn't even realize how many basketballs were in the trunk until I did a pickup and they were moving stuff around in there. I was like, sweet mother pearl. So a great, great, great hack. And honestly, if you are going on a road trip or traveling, they have a lot of templates out there that you can make a checklist to make sure that you have everything that you need before you get on the road so you're not leaving anything behind. No toy gets left behind. My son also likes Hot Wheel cars. So if it's not a basketball, I keep a Hot Wheel in my purse. So if you know that your child has a favorite whatever, I have at least three Hot Wheel cars in my purse that I know my son will eventually ask for. And I'll here it is.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Stay ready so you ain't gotta get ready.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Yeah. One last thing I want to add to that is keeping a first aid kit in your car. Yeah. I have a really small one, but for the times where I take them to the park or whatever the case may be, um, I don't need to worry about trying to find a band-aid or whatever. I know I just run to my car, grab it, and I have what I need there for them because you know, especially boys, yes, you know, they they're they're wild and they don't care. And at any moment, you might need that first aid kit. So I do keep a little small one in there, and it definitely has been very useful to me. So just throwing that out there.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

Very important. First aid kit, very, very important. The last that we will speak of is the worth every penny sanity saver. So, so what is one service or boundary that you finally gave into that completely changed your weekly workflow? So we're talking grocery pickup, a streamlined streaming subscription, say that three times fast because I just did, that keeps the kids happy or outsourcing a specific chore, automated clothing subscriptions or a strict rule about not checking emails after 6 p.m. Do any of those tickle your fancy still?

SPEAKER_00 42:47

Yes, a few. So I do have automated uh vitamin subscriptions, I which is perfect because I don't ever have to worry about that. Um, I do my grocery deliveries. I wish they were automated. That would be nice. It's all convenience here. Uh, and then I do also um have an have a rule about trying to not do work-related activities at home. So once I leave work, that's pretty much it. Every once in a while I will look at an email. Um, but I know that once I am off the clock, off duty, um, I am not working from home. I used to do that a long time ago. And it just caused a lot of chaos and stress on not just me, but my husband and my kids. So me putting up that boundary definitely um has changed up how things are in the house. It's a lot less stressful and chaotic. Um, you just gotta put that phone down, gotta put the work away because they don't pay you for every minute of the day. They pay you from a certain amount of hours and that's it. So, nope. And I'm I'm not looking back. I'm not doing that again.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

People get so engulfed in that space, it's very difficult to let go to create that boundary because that's all it is. It's a boundary. And your employers, they're gonna push it until you call them out on it or you just don't respond. They're gonna do what they feel like they need to do and keep pushing, pushing, pushing. And creating that boundary is is detrimental to your family, to your household. So kudos to you. Yeah, thank you. I I don't I do the grocery pickup. It was new for me. We lived in New Mexico, and a wife that I met was shooketh that I would walk into the store. You don't do pickup, was her question with all caps and question marks, exclamation points. And I finally did it. I'm oh, I don't trust the I don't trust them shopping. I don't trust this and that were my responses. But talk about a hack. Talk about a lifesaver, a I love a pickup. Delivery is also nice. I've done that a couple times. I I don't mind the drive, honestly, half the time. I usually do a couple pickups from different stores, but if you're not doing that, do it. I really truly think that's a sanity saver. It's a it's a hack. It can cut off your grocery shopping. You don't have to buy things that you didn't mean to buy because you're shopping and you know exactly what you need. You can snack while you're shopping in the comfort of your own home and not buying snacks because you're hungry shopping. And you could save money, you can see exactly what you're spending. It's all around such a great tool to utilize as a parent, even as a single. But if you're a parent with multiple kids, even with one kid, if you don't feel like getting out of the house, utilize that feature for pickup. It's typically free for a lot of places. So look into that at your local area. And the chores, my son's starting to get chores. He's making his bed, he has a few things that he's proud to do. He brings a trash can in. And so divvying that out is also helping take the load off my husband and I. That's one less thing that he has to worry about, bringing the trash in. That's one less thing that I worry about, making his bed. So just making life easier for everyone in the house. Your kids have a sense of independence, depending on the age. If you have a 16 or 17-year-old, it's probably the last thing that they're thinking about is independence. They're trying to, or that's the first thing that they think they want to get out of the house until they see the prices out there. Sweet Jesus. But the littles, the littles want that sense of independence. So don't be afraid to add a little push to give independence to your five, six, seven, eight, nine-year-old. And it can be something so minor, but anything that can help keep your sanity is what we're preaching here today. That's what today's episode is truly, truly all about. Making sure that we're all helping each other out. We're not gatekeeping anything. We just want to help everybody out. So, pourers, let's stop trying to do everything because at the end of the day, a happy household starts with sane parents. Utilize the tools that are within the palms of our hands. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Pouring and Parenting.

SPEAKER_00 47:07

Where sip happens and we pour about it.