Pouring and Parenting
Two best friends, now wives and moms, grab a drink and keep it real about juggling family, careers, trends, and all the mess in between. It’s funny, honest, and full of heart — a weekly reminder that no woman is doing this alone.
Pouring and Parenting
Ep. 32 Blinded by the Lights
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Most of us are living in a digital hall of mirrors — flashing screens, endless episodes, and guilty pleasures that steal hours we’ll never get back. But what if all that scrolling and binge-watching is quietly shrinking your kid’s attention span and your sanity? Spoiler: It’s happening, and the stats are shocking—seven hours of screen time daily for adults, and kids fleeing actual movies faster than you can say "pause." In this episode, Inish and Sil pull back the curtain on the chaos of modern parenting, exposing how our obsession with screens and true crime dramas is rewiring our brains and our kids’.
It’s not just about guilt — it’s about opportunity. Learn why setting boundaries, choosing calm and low-stimulation content, and leading by example can turn screens into tools, not traps. Whether you’re battling the 71% of parents whose kids can’t survive a 90-minute movie without reaching for a device or just trying to keep your own screen time in check, this episode is your honest, hilarious guide to navigating digital chaos without losing your mind—or your child's. Perfect for overwhelmed parents, tech-savvy caregivers, or anyone curious about how modern media shapes us all. You're busy, your kids are busy, but this episode will give you the tools to reclaim some peace, one screen at a time. And hey—if you thought this was just about facts, think again. It’s about grabbing control, saving your sanity, and maybe finding a little more life outside those endless feeds. Hit play and start each day a little more grounded—and a lot less blinded by the digital light.
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This episode may include references to alcohol. As always, we encourage responsible sipping- water, mocktails, and coffee count too.
Grab your glass and pull up a chair. It's time for your favorite girls' night in.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Pouring and Parenting. We're your besties, Sill and Ainish.
SPEAKER_02We're here to laugh through the chaos. Hello, Poor's. Let's start the show. Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back to another episode of Pouring and Parenting. It's your girl Einish. And I'm Sil. And per usual, ladies and gentlemen, we have a really great show for you all today. But before we get into that, Sill, how are you doing?
SPEAKER_01I am surviving. It's been an interesting week, an interesting last 10 minutes. So yeah, I'm just trying to get through. How about you? I heard that.
SPEAKER_02I need toothpicks to keep my eyes open, but I am also surviving as well. We're breathing air and the sun is shining and the moon is rising. So at the end of the day, all is good.
SPEAKER_01So, what did you pour into your cup today? Okay. Once again, I didn't pour anything. I have a white claw black cherry. It's my last one in the fridge. I've been on a mission to clean out my fridge from just all this remaining alcohol. And I think I'm like about done, so I can just go and buy new stuff. So yay. But I mean, I always love a good claw, so yes.
SPEAKER_02At least it wasn't mango.
SPEAKER_01No mango. And usually I save that for last, and there was no mango.
SPEAKER_02Which is crazy to me that you move in that order. Yeah. Mind-boggling to me. What are you drinking? What'd you pour? I poured a hefty glass of Sauvignon Blanc. And I was gonna go a different route and did not. So here I am with my Sauvignon Blanc. So cheers. Cheers to that, my dear. Cheers. Cheers. Okay, ladies and gentlemen. We hope that you have all grabbed your drinks. We hope that you are comfy because we have some wild numbers that we are going to dive into today. Uh, we came across some new data about how we interact with technology. And it low-keyed feels like a personal attack. So make sure you're sitting down because there is a lot that we are going to dive into today. As far as hot topics go, we have three that we are going to expose and just talk about using screen time and how we all use that to escape our reality. The first one that we're gonna start with is the fact that the average adult is now clocking over seven hours of entertainment screen time every single day. We're gonna break down all of these numbers before Syl and I actually confess what we're hiding on our own feeds. Okay, so hang on to your butts, as I like to now say. Ladies and gentlemen. Okay, so the seven hour screen gap. The average American spends about seven hours and two minutes every single day staring at screens for non-work entertainment. So let me give you an example, if you will. Let's let's bring the scene down. If you're awake for roughly 16 hours, we spend nearly half of our conscious lives escaping into a digital world. So, what does your actual productive life look like versus the sheer volume of time your phone says you spent staring at a glass rectangle this week? Okay, so I don't even look every week, for instance. Let me start there. Every Sunday or Monday, my phone wants to give me an update on how long I've been looking at my phone. And specifically what apps I've used the most this week in comparison to the week before. I used to look at that. I no longer look at those numbers. And based off these numbers that we're spewing out today, I don't think it's that bad because I haven't looked in so long. But I'm pretty sure for certain people, for other people, the numbers are even higher because with the time frame that it's giving with the seven hours, and if we do the example with 16 hours, that means you're getting eight hours of sleep a day, which how many people really get eight hours of sleep a day? Which to me means that people most likely staring at their phones even longer and sleeping less, and the numbers is probably off balance more than this perfect grid of assuming that you get eight hours of sleep and you're up 16 hours and let's break everything in half. So it's seven, eight hours of sleep, seven hours of awake time staring at your phone, and seven hours of doing productive work. Yikes. So how do you feel about this?
SPEAKER_01Hot topic. Oh man. So I mean, it's crazy because you you just don't notice, right? Until the end of the week when your phone tells you, you know, your average time, you really don't notice how much time. It's kind of like, what's the word? It's just like an unconscious, unconscious decision. Like you just pick up your phone and you get on it. Where it's just like you're just so used to doing it, you don't even realize like I'm spending so much time on my phone. It's like it's an addiction. And I think we all have it at this point where we keep we put our phone down for a little bit and then a little while later we're like, okay, wait, where is and we just mindlessly scroll, whether it's on Amazon or social media or playing a game, like whatever the case is, like it just the time will fly by when you are on a phone, then you realize, crap, I didn't make dinner yet, or when's the last time I checked on the kids? You know, so yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yes, time definitely will slip away and you won't even realize that time flies when you're staring at your phone, or time flies when you're staring at the TV and deep into a a series. That is a crazy fact that again, I think the numbers are probably a lot higher than than what they are saying right now.
SPEAKER_01So is this including only cell phone usage, or does this include watching TV, like kids being on their video games, stuff like that?
SPEAKER_02Just staring at a screen. Okay, so any screen.
SPEAKER_01Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Outside of work, outside of work. And a lot of people have to stare at a screen at work, but once you clocked out of work and it's your leisure time, the these calculations are based on that phone screen, computer screen, if that's your how you watch TV, whatever the case is. So yikes.
SPEAKER_01So you got the next okay, and our next one is cold cases and clean counters. So our secret escape. Women make up about 70% of the core audience for true crime content. And a staggering 32% of people actively listen to intense crime stories right before bed or while doing household chores to help them relax. That's insane. I am not a true crime junkie. There was a very short period of time in my life when I watched I think it was on oxygen, um, that cable station, or what is it called? Yeah. That network. And it was, I think, like when wives go mad, or you know, what I don't know what the what it was, but basically women killing their husbands. And that was probably I only watched her for a little bit, but I really can't get into it. It just I get scared. Like I will just be checking my back. So yeah, no. But let's get into that a little bit more. Let's set the scene. A mom calmly folding tiny, peaceful laundry or scrubbing the kitchen counters while a narrator is in her ears describing a gruesome 1990s mystery. Why do our brains consider a dark investigation relaxing compared to the daily stress of a chaotic household? Aynish, you tell me because I don't do this. I'll be stressed out.
SPEAKER_02I definitely indulge in the the mystery and the the oxygen channels, the lifetime channels, and the movies that are all out there. What a fun scene to set. I think that a lot for me, it has a lot to do with just being able to. I I feel like I'm learning stuff. There are so many different scenarios that you wouldn't even place yourself in or even think about being in. And then you hear these stories of these, I'm just gonna say you just hear these stories of different circumstances and different situations, and you're like, oh my goodness, like I didn't think about that. So it could be a safety precaution. And we're just adding tools to our tool belt of safety, is how I see that.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so let me just let's compare a little bit. So you love to watch this stuff. However, with this love that you have, you're also very aware of your surroundings, you're aware of, or you you take those extra precautions to have like your doors locked, you know, uh cameras everywhere, all around the house. Now I don't I don't watch that stuff. And I'm at peace when my windows are open or my garage doors open until 10 o'clock at night. We we actually, and I mean, we don't do this for fun. This was an accident, but I mean, I like I this is how just at peace I am with where I live, or just in general, I guess, not necessarily where I live, but just in general, that today we left, came back, and our front door was unlocked. And I'm like, oh, we did it again. Y'all stressed me out. And see, like I'm not stressed. You know, I mean, did I go around and look to make sure there wasn't somebody hiding at my house? Yes. Okay. But I mean, other than that, like I I don't feel like I need to do all that stuff, but I think it's because I don't hear all that scary stuff. And now mind you, I know we live in a scary world, but I I guess be I don't know if it's correlated, like I don't hear that stuff, therefore I don't feel it.
SPEAKER_02Well, I don't out of sight, out of mind. Hey, I still live my life. I don't live in a shell, I don't live in a bubble, I still go out, I hang out, I travel, I travel alone with my kids. I I literally still live my life. My main focus when it comes to my safety and security is definitely in my home and in my space. And I just want to make sure, because we do travel a lot, and there are times when the home is not as full as I want it to be. And I want to make sure that I have that security. And there are so many stories that I've watched, and I feel like I've been able to get some insight on what to do and how to better prepare myself if a situation were to happen based on other people's stories. And it's kind of dark because it's based on their trauma, but I'm pretty sure that if I like if I were in a situation and something traumatic happened to me, I would want to tell the world, hey, this is what you need to do in case this if you find yourself in the situation. But also in the same breath, if you want to be out of sight, out of mind, that works well, and you can live in your bubble. I'm living in my bubble. There are people that have underground homes ready for bunkers. They're living in their bubble and they're prepared for whatever is to come. I'm in that group of girlies that watch that and I got weapons on me. And that's all I'm gonna say. Run up on me if you want to. But but yeah, you know, it's I it's not an open door to run up on me.
SPEAKER_01I just want to throw that off.
SPEAKER_02At the end of the day, everyone has their guilty pleasure, and that is definitely my guilty pleasure. We're gonna talk a little bit more about the fascination with the cold cases. All right, that was the hot topic number two. We have one more hot topic we're going to discuss. And this hot topic is gonna focus on the children. The movie attention span deficit, the kid reality. So a national youth media poll found that 71% of parents report their kid cannot make it through a standard 90-minute movie without reaching for a second screen, like a tablet or phone. We're gonna set the scene again. You're trying to set up a nice, nostalgic family movie night only for your kids to be dual welding through their technology, and they're trying to like they're trying to work a corporate job within the first 20 minutes. You have the popcorn set up, you have candy and the the palette set out with all the pillows and the sleeping bags, and all your kid wants to do is hop on the tablet 10 to 15 minutes in. That is tough. Definitely different than going into a drive-in, for instance, or actual movie theater. I wonder if it's just the comfort of being at home and they're just used to having that tablet and there are not enough movie nights happening at the house. So And it's a new movie. Introducing something new to kids is difficult to do. They gotta watch it at least 30 times before they actually like it that 31st time. What do you think? That's a high number, right? 71%?
SPEAKER_01It is a very high number. I do not have this issue because my kids don't have tablets or phones. My well, my son has an iPad, but he doesn't use it because it glitches, it's slow, it's very old. So I I really don't have this issue with him. Like, if I put on a movie, for the most part, he's gonna watch it. The little one, she's just gonna walk around. If we're at home, she's gonna walk around. But she's not on any technology necessarily. She's just, you know, she's three. You know, and we're at home. So she'll she'll come back. Like she'll watch it, but she won't be sitting down or laying down the whole time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I and honestly, I think if you have tablets or any type of phones with your children, put them away. Maybe have a lockbox if you find that it's such a hassle. My kids will definitely they'll sit down too, honestly. Uh, they help pick out the shows. My son has all these movies that he's been interested in. He's been really interested in this biblical movie that's come out. I can't think of what the movie's called, but if he requests to watch it, he's most likely gonna sit down and watch it. And the snacks typically help. But yes, if you find yourself in the 71% tile and your kids are reaching for that, lock it away. Let the kids know that you're locking it away. Don't make it a secret so they're getting up and looking for it, and you're sitting there all quiet, like, whoo-hoo-hoo, you're never gonna find it because I locked it away. No, let them know, be transparent with your kids. Some and I have talked about this on previous episodes before. Just let them know, hey, I'm putting it, everything goes in the bucket. You treat them like it's a concert, a fancy concert with Beyonce and let them know there are no phones for the next hour and 47 minutes. We're gonna watch this movie and like it.
SPEAKER_01I agree. Yeah, just set those expectations. And honestly, I don't even think like needing to put them in a box is it should be a thing. Like, put it away in your room. Like wherever your phone goes, put it away, go put it a charge, whatever the case is. You're not gonna have your phone on you. We're gonna watch this movie, and it is what it is. Like, yes, and lead by example. Yeah, you stay off your phone too. That's hard, but yes, I agree. Because 75%, that's such a high number, and I feel like 69% of that is the parents' fault. Yes. And 20 minutes is crazy.
SPEAKER_02Okay, ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of the hot topic. And I'm gonna assume that the data doesn't lie. We're all just trying to survive the daily chaos by plugging into a completely different universe. All of us. We're trying to get out of our reality and take it somewhere else. And that is gonna bring us into the heart of today's episode. Blinded by the light, the content we consume versus the lives that we live. We're gonna be pulling back the curtain on the gap between responsible daily routines and some train wrecks. Okay. Depending on how you want to look at this. We're gonna be talking about historical drama and true crime, which we discussed in the hot topics, and just having just being able to find a free moment into just whatever your escape is. So let's jump into the first segment and talk about why we are so obsessed with corsets and chivalry while living our lives in our leggings and t-shirts. Okay. So, Still and I are a little bit more familiar with this topic than I care to admit. But considering we literally had about five episodes based on this. The corset and Sugary Craze, historical romance versus leggings in the house all day, every day. Why are we so captivated by hyper glamorous high society period dramas? And why are we so drawn to the eras where people spent two or more hours getting dressed? Again, Still and I highlighted Bridgerton for like five or six episodes. I lost count at some point that we had to double up the episodes. But we we can't hide behind any petticoats. We put our business on Front Street because we definitely highlighted this time. And so, why do you feel that it is so popular? And honestly, if you do not follow us on social media, Instagram and TikTok and YouTube now, then you need to follow us. Two, those videos were one of the most views videos that we got when it came to posting and we were talking about Bridgerton. The ladies were engaged, the ladies wanted to hear what we had to say, they wanted to hear a different perspective about Bridgerton. We had a lot of views when we spoke about Bridgerton. Why do you think that is?
SPEAKER_01So I think it's the fantasy in it, but it's it's it well, the realistic fantasy in it, because there was a time period when people did dress like that. They spoke the way that they did in the manner so proper. And we don't do that. And it's kind of like, oh, if I lived in this time and I wore those big dresses and my waist was snatched because I had to have a corset on, you know, 20 hours out the day. Like it's just, you know, just the glamour, the dancing. And we were and I'm, I guess I'm gonna take women back a bit. We were taken care of as women for the most part. If you were in high society, you did tea time with the queen, and and it's like, oh, like it's just so like, oh, I wish I was in those times. Uh so I think it's it's so realistic, but it's just not us. It's not the era that we grew up in. Yeah. So it and and it's just the themes are so up to date. So it's just so intriguing. It just draws you in. Yes.
SPEAKER_02And just being able to have a glimpse back into what life used to be. And like you said, the snatched waist, I wasn't even thinking about that. But them girls, their waists were snatched. And looking now, women are definitely working on snatching their waist now for different reasons. But the courting for me was a big thing that stood out. The I I wish courting was still a thing. I wish modesty was still a thing. Or having a chaperone during the courting phase.
SPEAKER_01And it not being like, ew, your brother's here babysitting you. Like, no, like that was the norm. Yes.
SPEAKER_02It was expected. It was necessary. Well, at least for a woman. A woman needed a chaperon if she was with the man and ah the fantasy of it. So it's it's nice to dream or live and fantasize about all that chivalry and corset craze that we talked about for five episodes. So again, if you're listening and you're like, what are these girls talking about? Go back. We definitely talk about Bridgetton, but I think a lot of it ultimately just has to do with the fantasy. Yeah, vampire, a lot of vampire shows out there as well, vampire diaries.
SPEAKER_01All right. And then our next segment and true crime. Why do we need other people's drama? So I will say that even though I'm not a true crime fan, I am a reality star fan. And I think it all began. I was gonna say Jersey Shore, but no, it began with Bad Girls Club. Mind you, not anything that anyone needs to fucking watch. That trash TV is Bad Girls Club right next to it, honestly. Like no one needs to be acting like that. How embarrassing for their families. But it was good, it was good TV. We were we were into it, invested. Right. And uh and then Jersey Shore. Oh my gosh, Jersey Shore. I remember just you know, watching it and like having like little parties watching it. It was just such a big thing. And then at least for us, those were our clubbing days. So it just it was so relatable. Uh and then as we got older, then there was like that real housewives, which that's nice because you see a whole different world where it's like, oh, okay, yeah, you have all this money, but you're still ratchet. Like you're still you'll still be freaking crazy and all these other things. Yes. But why? So why do we like listening to this train wreck, television, or these really dark mystery acts? It's just a, I guess like a decompression for us being a busy parent. So it kind of just takes us away, you know, like I have all this chaos going on at home, but hey, that chaos that's going on on TV has nothing to do with me. So I feel good about my situation at home because they're going through it over there. Like he cheated on her, or he did this, or she did that, like she's sleeping around, or whatever the case may be. You know, I just gotta deal with these little ones, you know. So my life is easy compared to the craziness that goes on TV. But it just, it's just like an outlet. It just, you know, you just kind of gets you away from your own hustle and bustle. So whether it's scary stuff or just really dramatic drama, crazy sex on the beach type stuff, like it's just kind. gets you out of your own busy parent mentality. Yes.
SPEAKER_02It's an outlet. There are so many reality TV shows out there too. A lot of it has to do with being relatable to your target audience. There's 16 and pregnant was a whole big thing. 90 days 90 what's that 90 day fiance? 90 day fiance. And I mean the list goes on. Their Love Island is popping right now. And people are so invested in these other people keeping up with the Kardashians. And there are just it's just so many people that will that's all they do. They watch reality TV. The seven hours is taken up their seven hours is taken up on reality TV and catching up and to think now we have all these different outlets via social media and they released episodes by the by the dozens by the eights by the episodes plural whereas before it used to be one episode per week. Yeah. And the the these numbers that we spoke about in our hot topics make a lot of sense because people can binge watch and we're talking eight episodes 13 episodes two seasons one season but at least six to eight episodes per season. And so definitely feel like it's a release it's a place to escape and look at other people's lives and you don't have to think it's mindless TV. You don't have they're not asking you questions. They're not asking you to figure a case out. You know at the end of the show if you're watching a murder mystery they're going to tell you what happened at the end of the show as best as they can. And you just sit there and and get take the information. If it's a love, it's if it's Love Island, you know how that show's gonna end. If it's 16 and pregnant you know she's going to have a baby at the end of the show. And I think a lot of it is just the fact that it's mindless thinking and you can just kind of tune out but hone in at the same time to the the train wreck of reality TV.
SPEAKER_01Yeah and they're just like you said there's so not even just social media but there's so many streaming services where you can go on and just from all kinds of reality TV, whatever float to your boat you know, is gonna be there. So they really do have something for everyone I feel like it's not all necessarily trash but a lot of it is yes very crazy.
SPEAKER_02Yes yes yes definitely other things you can be doing with your time. But no judgment here we're not judging because we oh no our vices no judgment we definitely have our vices I have watched many shows in my day. Yes. But real quick though too I will talk about the just to further dive into why I really like the dark mystery I mentioned it earlier but I really truly feel like it definitely helps with making sure that you are aware of your surroundings. There's so many stories about this particular story with Uber driving and ride shares. There are women that have gotten into the wrong ride share. So being hyper aware of that because I don't know if before hearing stories about that that I've really thought deep into that because I assume hey you're my ride share I see the car I'm getting into the car. There are some really nasty yucky people out there and they won't say hey you're in the wrong car. Get out of my car I have been in the right state of mind and gotten into the wrong car before and the person told me you're in the wrong car. And I'm thinking man imagine if it was three in the morning and I wasn't in my right state of mind and I got into the wrong car with the wrong person. So there are a lot of stories out there that I feel help and again not to make you scared just to make you aware of your surroundings especially as a woman that you can't always be so leisure like when we move not as a scare tactic because again I still move I want to move I do what I want to do. I'm not a hermit and I'm not in the house. I'll be outside I'll be outside that's it I just want to touch base on that.
SPEAKER_01That's all right and moving on to our next segment is our sing to me uh portion of the episode where I will ask Inez a question based on song lyrics and she is to not only answer it correctly but to sing it back to me and then she'll ask me a question and I'll have to sing it back to her. Hopefully it's correct which usually it is um but let's see how today goes okay let's go ahead and get started. Okay. Pretty Ricky's your body okay she complains when she what so in pretty Ricky's your body she complains when she whatdy I don't even know the song what was the question she complains when she gets what no I don't know but she thought I would think okay yeah no take me back to high school and I shouldn't have been listening to this she complains when she catches back spasms but love but she loves when she gets the back to back orgasms. No 100% one the game is automatic give it to them one time they come back like addicts I got new shoes on the run rolling down 95 Wow fun fact I met one of pretty Ricky Pleasure P I met Pleasure Pm and broke bread with him we went it was a group of us it was all about it was a friend of mine we went and had tacos together and we just chopped it up how you doing Pleasure P and you don't even know that first song that put him on the map nope that was not the first song Your Body?
SPEAKER_02That was not the first song absolutely not can't be that was her first song it wasn't that Jake's first big song.
SPEAKER_01It was not that song they were in the game by then grind on me yeah there you go so their first nationally recognized single was Grind on me or Grind With Me.
SPEAKER_02Okay ladies and gentlemen the next question for you sales what was still on Monica's mind an angel of mine what was still on her mind did I sing it already? Okay can you play the game now shoot shoot it's not coming to me what's the question the question is what what was what was still on Monica's mind an angel of mind still on her mind I don't know it's not coming to me I'm pretty sure it's not first first no one in this whole world can ever compare last night the way you moved is still on my mind angel of mine you know I don't know that part of the song like those words that you said right before I don't know what I say but I know it's not that that's why I didn't come to dang it dang it dang it all right so next one Faith Evans featuring Carl Thomas can't believe okay what was going on as she was watching from the door what was going on as she was watching from the door dang I feel like I know too she couldn't believe so it's Faith Evans car Carl Thomas what were you doing Carl did we sit next to her hold on I mean but like why would that cause so much ruckus Faith why would that cause so much ruckus I can't make it make sense all right are you ready I'm ready irritated I'm ready irritated slow dancing on the floor while I love what's water so hard then you gave me reason to believe that thing what I've always meant to be but now I see you were wrong I need you wrong indeed okay last question ladies and gentlemen what did jaw rule want you to drop in always on time your panties just kidding but I mean I don't see why not I wouldn't I wouldn't wait let me clarify I would not drop my panties for traveling no okay all right and what song wait oh wait what always on time it's all the shanties song part shit I don't know I know a shanti's part I don't think I can't even hear Jaw Rule.
SPEAKER_01I know he's in it's a song like I'm singing a song but I don't even know if it's the right song. Oh totally different song. Okay um shit I don't know I I cannot even hear his voice in the song Frick Frick is right okay the lyric is so stop the complaints and drop the order restraints. Oh our sick lives again so back me down in the paint yes oh I don't know okay yeah nope that would have never came to me I was I literally like rapped a whole different song in my head. And how my brain typically works dang oh my gosh we're big fat losers today.
SPEAKER_02That's one way to put it okay can't always be winners in life ladies and gentlemen and that's okay.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna push forward clearly all right let's shift gears from good music to good investment. It's time for our next segment worth every penny we're gonna talk about things that make our lives just a little bit easier. Inech kick us off what is officially at the top of your list as far as escapism goes so audiobook app, streaming platform, what is it?
SPEAKER_02For me it's more the audiobook space I love a good audiobook now granted I have fallen behind this year. I feel like I'm already behind from last year so I gotta pick up the pace but my go-to app for audiobooks would be Hoopla Libby is a good one and honestly just your local library has an app as well if you haven't tapped into your local library and gone in there and got your library card and logged into their app because majority of them and and I've lived in some itty bitty tiny towns if these itty bitty tiny towns have apps for their library I don't know where you live but I'm pretty sure in my spirit your library offers that as well if you need an escape tap into the escape we're not here to judge you we are just here to pour into you and to let you know that you're not alone Netflix as far as streaming platforms go is really on the high place for me. Netflix they got a lot of documentaries on there and if you're into the murder mysteries and things of that nature Netflix has their own little space for that to tap into you watch one give it two thumbs up and they're gonna keep feeding you all the murder mysteries that your little heart can desire. Roku as an honorable mention what about you? What are your what's on your list of escape escapism?
SPEAKER_01I would say a book this year I have done so much better than I have in a really long time about reading um but I have to have a physical book. I am probably like an undiagnosed ADHD ADD because I cannot listen to something and give it my full attention for a long period of time. Like I'll just start doing something else even if it's in my ear like I will just kind of zone out and do something else like dang it now I gotta go back and listen to it again. But a book in my hand for some reason like that really just does it. I'm struggling with this last book that I've been reading I probably barely like in chapter two or three but that's where I would lean into because it's just such a great escape like I feel like I can as I'm reading I can picture all these things that are happening and I just I escape into a book. I get lost in a book.
SPEAKER_02Oh the days to get lost in a book I used to get lost in books and now I get lost in my life to the audio I'm really good at multitasking though. So for all the multitaskers out there check into all of those things that I said and for all the book lovers out there lock into your local library and start checking out books. Ladies and gentlemen we're gonna jump into the last segment of the show and we're gonna focus on the kids. We've been talking about all this adult stuff and we're gonna take the heat off our back and I guess oh well is it taking heat off our back or I guess we're gonna add a little bit more heat to your back as a parent because we're gonna focus on the kids and how much TV time are the kids receiving how much do they need on just check in. We're not judging we're just educating. So the two hour kids baseline modern data shows the average preschooler logs two hours and 10 minutes of screen time daily jumping to three and a half hours for older kids while pediatric guidelines strictly recommend a maximum of one hour per day. And let's talk about the nine minute brain drain Dr. Angeline Lillard from the University of Virginia conducted this study. Just nine minutes of watching a fast-paced commercial cartoon temporarily shattered four-year-olds executive function which focuses on self-regulation compared to kids who just drew pictures. Modern kids were forcing their brains into a constant state of sensory defense. The pacing metric in this fast cartoon the scenes were changing on an average of every 11 seconds in the slow PBS show scenes only changed every 34 seconds. The results were that immediately after those nine minutes they ran the kids through a standard mental test for executive function. They were testing things like memory self-regulation and delaying gratification like waiting to eat a snack for instance the kids who watched the fast-paced show performed significantly worse than the other groups. The takeaway of this was that pushing a child's brain to process rapid fire visual changes every few seconds completely tacks their prefrontal cortex. So it literally drained their real world attention span, leaving them temporarily unable to focus or control their impulses. So let's talk about that still we both have kids we had an episode a few episodes back where we talked about pulling out toy boxes that they haven't seen in a while or it's a Monday and here's a toy that you haven't seen in two weeks or sit them in front of the TV and let them watch Miss Rachel or whatever. This study is pretty much saying that nine minutes depending on the show that your child is watching is going to pretty much overstimulate them and they're not gonna know how to function. They're not even giving us a timeframe for how long it takes them to get back into their proper mindset. But they're just like I wanna know like how long do I gotta wait? Oh reset button. Yes again is it on them can I push it and it's so like still how like this is these are some aggressive facts.
SPEAKER_01How do you feel about this study that went on it's definitely um eye-opening so my son there was a time where I did let him watch YouTube pretty regularly and he really likes to watch the shorts where it is very fast paced someone talking really fast images going really fast and it goes on to the next video and it's really really fast. And we did notice that just the way he behaved was a little bit different. So eventually we just had to take it away that was like his main thing that he loved to do. So he spends a lot of his time playing outside now. He does not watch half the TV he used to um and like I said he doesn't have a phone or a tablet. So really the only way for him to see the stuff is like through someone else's phone. But I believe it I really do because their brains they they just get so locked into this and I can just imagine these things just going so fast that they're just trying to keep up we we need to do better as parents to supervise what they're watching because there is so much brain rot on TV and I know I mean I'm very guilty about um my daughter watching TV, my youngest one she's not watching YouTube that's for sure but it's like Coco Melon, Baby Shark, Frozen or Moana. But even then I know that I'm like I need to get you away from the TV and sometimes it's just on as background noise and she won't just sit there and watch it the whole time. She'll be playing with toys and she'll go and she'll look and she'll sing and you know so like that's great. I love that she's interacting and singing and she laughs and she gets what's going on and she's learning so many words through that. But at the same time it's also not good for her because she does pick up things that she shouldn't be, you know, and it's not anything like horrible these are still kids' shows but I'm like oh dang it like I'm pretty sure she got oh it's mine from one of the shows on there. That's her favorite thing it's mine. I can definitely see how this is real life and this is what our kids go through and without knowing we don't do it intentionally like we said no one we're not judging anyone. I definitely am guilty of putting my kids in front of the TV so I can get some stuff done or just so that I can also escape because there's just days where they're really trying. We need to make sure that whatever they're watching is appropriate for their for their age um group and that it's just not so overstimulating. Disney Plus there is two things that I really like on there. One of them is a kind of like a a nursery rhyme one and it'll play nursery rhymes and it's kind of slow. It's not anything crazy it does the the colors are not super vibrant. They're kind of like more uh what's the word looking for uh mutive I guess yeah I guess you could say that um so it it's just not like super stimulating but like hey it's something on it's a music she pays attention to it but she can also play with her toys like it doesn't take all her attention and there's another one on there on Disney Plus where it is it'll sing Disney songs but what it's showing you is like a very relaxing type of background or images. So there's other alternatives if they want to have something on than just having these crazy shows where you don't really know what they're learning. At the end of the day they suffer we suffer so let's just get it right the first time.
SPEAKER_02Yes it can it can be overstimulating I'm guilty of putting the kids in front of the TV if I need to get something done as well. And but I will say that my kids for the most part they will handle if I take it away. Nope we're not watching it we're gonna listen to music. I'm really big on music in the household and we'll just sit and listen to music for meals or just throughout the day while they're coloring because I don't want them to be overstimulated and we'll listen to Motown or whatever the theme is for the day because mama has a theme every day. But keeping it low stimulated because their brains they're they're still growing and they're learning and they're trying to figure out what do I need to take in as adults for the most part we know what we need to absorb and what's good information. We can filter all the bad stuff out. We know how to filter all that out these littles they're trying to figure out they don't filter out anything. So just making sure that you're in control and and taking the reins in that in your household. So at the end of the day you are the one keeping this whole ship afloat mama bear, papa bear whoever's listening so give yourself some serious grace for how you handle the chaos and remember to actually pour back into yourself this week, next week and the week thereafter.
SPEAKER_01Yes you cannot pour from an empty cup. So go fill yours up tonight. You deserve it and we'll see you next week. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Pouring and Parenting where sip happens and we pour about it.